Stand out from the crowd. A colourful dock leaf.
Celebrate Your
Strengths
Sara
Arey
Through my work with female entrepreneurs, it’s not
uncommon to discover an underlying sense
of “stuck” in any particular area. The feeling of being
“stuck” is something to which everyone
can relate at some point in their life; it’s the sense
that you don’t know what to do next,
how to move forward, or like you’re treading water.
Often when we feel stuck, we feel weak somehow. We start to
believe that the problem
is bigger than we are, as if there’s just “little us” and the “big
issue.”
Can you relate to this?
Seeking Connection through Commiseration
I was recently working with one of my clients on this
very issue of feeling stuck.
As we did the work, she realized that the stuck-ness she
was experiencing was a pattern for her.
She was able to identify that she unconsciously used the
feeling of overwhelm – and in a sense, weakness – to garner support and
connection from the people around her.
It’s not uncommon for people to do this.
We gather our friends and family and discuss how hard it
is to run a business.
We list the difficult things, like how frustrating it is
when clients don’t show up,
what a failure our last talk was,
or how we simply don’t
know how we’re going to continue this way.
Of course we want to feel bonded to other people. For
this client, one of the ways she bonded
with others was to express her feelings of weakness so
that others could contribute to her.
Through our work together, she realized that what she
really wanted was to be supported
in her strengths and to connect with the people around
her through loving her business.
Give More of What You Wish to Receive
When she realized what was going on, we started talking
about how she could transition
out of this pattern of weakness and into a conversation
of strength.
Sometimes when we see what’s truly happening and want to
make a shift,
we’re called to move past feelings of jealousy and
competition with other people.
When we tell ourselves things like, “I’ll never be as
successful or popular
or have these good things happen to me that happened for
this other person…”
we’re only creating more of the weakness we perceive that we have.
Instead, put effort into giving to someone else what you
wish to receive. If we want to be supported in our strength, we must support others
in their strengths and successes first.
Claim the Celebration
Sometimes it can be hard to give someone else love or
celebrate their success
when you feel as though you are lacking. It’s at this
point that it’s important to realize
that the sense of lack is only a story you’ve been
telling yourself.
If you continue to tell this story, you’ll look for evidence in
your life to support it –
and the more deeply connected with lack you become.
The same is true if you tell yourself stories of how
fulfilled and successful you are.
I love the saying, “The only way to have a friend is to
be one.” It’s true.
It doesn’t matter how big or small a success may be when
you claim the celebration
on behalf of yourself or a friend, you create more
opportunities to honor your wins
and support each other through your strengths instead of
your weaknesses.
Are you ready to claim more celebration in your life,
and be supported for your strengths rather than your weaknesses?
and be supported for your strengths rather than your weaknesses?
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/celebrate-your-strengths-sara-arey
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The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”
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