There are times in life when you felt that you have been
done a disservice or you have not received the quality of service, or product,
which you feel entitled to. When this happens, many people bottle it up for
fear of having an argument. However, there is nothing to fear from making your
feelings known. When it is done right, informing the other party of how you
feel is actually doing them
a service as they are then in a position to remedy the
situation. In order to make your argument
in the proper manner, you must first prepare your
argument.
On many occasions, you will be able to prepare your
argument quickly and attempt to resolve the situation immediately. However,
there will be times when you need to take due care and
attention to prepare
your argument thoroughly. Whichever, situation arises, it is important that you
consider some key criteria when you prepare your argument.
8 Steps to prepare your argument
Implement the following 8 steps when you prepare your
argument and you will have taken
giant strides towards creating a courteous and
constructive discussion.
1. Identify the
appropriate person to talk to
Your argument may be concise, clear and convincing but
unless it is delivered to somebody
who has the authority to take the necessary action, your
argument will fall on deaf ears.
If you feel that the issue is one which needs to be dealt
with by management,
then do not settle for a discussion with a lower-ranked
member of staff.
2. Determine
the best time to have the discussion
Choosing an appropriate time to have a discussion plays a
key role in having a constructive conversation. For example, if
you know that the other person is going to be busy at a particular time, then
that time should be avoided as they will not be able to give their full
attention to the discussion. Other times which might need to be avoided are
directly before lunch or finishing time.
In these instances their mind and attention has already
started to move to a new location.
3. Determine
an appropriate location
When you are making a complaint, or argument, it is
important to choose a location where
the other person has their confidentiality and dignity
respected. Try to find as private a location
as you can to hold the discussion.
4. Identify
the feelings and emotions you experienced
It is important to acknowledge your emotions and
feelings. When you bottle them up,
it is both
unhelpful and unhealthy. When you can explain your feelings, in a rational
manner,
it helps the other person to understand how important the
issue is to you.
5. Take
responsibility for your feelings
Nobody can make you feel in a particular way. Regardless
of what has happened,
it is you that has chosen your reaction i.e. your
feelings. Before you can properly explain
your feelings to another person, you must first accept
that they are actually your feelings.
6. Identify
exactly what it was that you disagree with
It is always best to enter these situations with a
positive view of the other person. When you do this, you assume that they too
will want to resolve the issue. In order for them to be able to do so,
you must
first be able to tell them exactly what it was that you disagreed with. Be as
specific as possible. Remember, if they do not understand the exact nature of
your complaint, they cannot be expected
to resolve the issue.
7. Decide
on your keywords or phrases
It is important that you do not over rehearse or script
your argument. Your argument must come across as sincere and genuine if you
wish to the other person to take you seriously. When your argument sounds too
rehearsed, it comes across as fake. Rather than script the entire
argument, note down
the key points which you want to get across and focus on
these.
8. Practice
your argument
This may seem like it is contradicting the previous
point. However, I am not suggesting that you learn your argument off by heart.
Just practice it a few times, out loud, and in private, to ensure that
it sounds right and feels natural. If it does not; make
some small adjustments until it does.
You are now
prepared to make your argument.
Preparation is a fundamental requirement when you need to
make a complaint or argument.
By taking the time to prepare your argument, you greatly
increase your chances of a successful outcome. You will also manage to maintain
an amicable relationship with the other person.
Rather than fear the situation, take the time to prepare
your argument thoroughly and you
will create a constructive situation which benefits both
parties.
Image credit: Marcy
http://coachingpositiveperformance.com/prepare-your-argument-8-golden-rules/
Other articles in
this blog include:
Factors that can cause people to be difficult 06/01/14
Dealing with difficult situations 04/01/14
How to say what you need. M'reen
How to say ‘No’ at work in a way that helps your career.
How you can take control of your emotions by becoming
rooted in yourself.
Perhaps you’d like to checkout my sister blog www.innermindreading.blogspot.com
and find easy, fast and efficient ways of working with
the issues or little unpleasantness’s in your life.
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