Just what can you do about the stress in your life?

                                             M'reen  Dad carved these, he's now 92.

                                               What would they weigh? Do you know?

Just what can you do about the stress in your life?

M’reen Hunt

First find out what sort of stress it is and what you can do about it practically.

Create a little chart.

                                                                                                

The stress?	bad or good	1 > 10	+ or - stress	How do u feel	Can you resolve this?	Do you need to react?
Other drivers	Irritating	9 at times	minus	memories	No	No

1.       Name the stress, don’t go overboard a word or two will be sufficient

2.       Is this a good (eustress) or bad stress. Remember that something anticipated as good

        has a hefty stress rating. E.g. a wedding, moving to a new home.

3.       How stressful is this, give it a scale. For this you might want to check out my article: 

        How do I know if I have a problem and how big it is? This also gives a TFT (EFT) 

        skill all found on my sister blog at   www.innermindreading.blogspot.com

4.       Is this supposed to be a positive (new baby) or negative (new baby) stress?

5.       How do you feel about this – what are your emotions?  It triggers memories of accident’s

  I had to attend and then to speak to the traumatically bereaved family.

6.       No, it’s not possible to affect other people’s driving habits.

7.       Yes, most positively you can determine how you react emotionally to any situation.

        Though even for a seasoned pro., it might take the help of a therapist. 

        In the situation described, relax into trace (see the power of magic bubbles in my sister 

        blog) and imagine that every time you stop at a traffic light that you let your shoulders drop 

        a little and let all the stress of the day drop off you like water off a duck’s back. 

        Do this a number of time until your SUD (subjective unit of distress; the 1>10 scale) 

        has come down to an acceptable level. This has worked for particular roundabouts, 

        people driving into a potential accident and other road related stresses. 

        It even made me feel safe as a passenger when an aggressive driver relaxed.

8.       Is there something that you can do to alter the situation? One lady was offered a significant 

        pay rise as opposed to the firm resolving an issue. This trapped her into a stressful 

        situation. Therefore she was back at the start of her situation and searching for different 

        ways to affect the working relationship between herself and a colleague.

How to deal with criticism, sarcasm and ‘jokes’.

I know someone who had perfected this art; 

it was really frustrating as everyone simply hit a brick wall with no way over, under, through or round.

Whenever anyone says something that criticises your dress, behaviour, beliefs, actions etc.

Simply. Say. YES, I and repeat exactly what they have said.

Or if you enjoy playing you can come up with variations such as: 

YES, and use your own words to describe their criticism.

Actually the person being criticised has to listen carefully to the criticism in order to repeat it 

or to embroider the statement. I guess there is hope that they will eventually get the message.

The person being criticised responds only to the statement and not to the stress implications behind the statement or what the person being criticised ‘mind reads’ as the stress being implied.

If someone criticises in a way that you feel you must defend your position and cannot say, YES ….

If someone says that you can’t …, you are no good at.., and it presses buttons.

Then try, Yes there are times I …, Yes I used to be really rubbish at …

You are not taking on the guilt trip, you are being realistic as no one is 100% right a !00% of the time.

The first time I did this there was an opened mouth silence and I realised that I’d attracted this criticism as a sort of self defence. If I declared my inadequacies first then no one would attack me.

After that first time of affirming myself to myself out loud, I realised that I was not as bad as I thought 

I was and began to be more realistic about myself. Guess what folks? People eventually accept 

the new you and have to deal with their own insecurities or bullying tactics.

This is the perfect foil for those who use sarcasm or make ‘innocent’ and ‘amusing’ ‘jokes’ 

at your expense. Simply reply, YES, I’m … There is no question that you believe this rubbish; 

you’ve simply put up a verbal ‘I’m not playing your silly power games so go away’ sign. Gosh, why didn’t I remember this instead of allowing myself to ‘fight back’ and feel bad about myself?

Perhaps you’d like to checkout my sister blog www.innermindreading.blogspot.com

and find easy, fast and efficient ways of working with the issues or little unpleasantness’s in your life.