"Another excellent article as I’ve worked with people whose fear of success expressed
itself as a fear of exams; which mean the potential of taking on a ‘higher’ role
maybe being seen as equal with their current superiors or family.
Working with the energy practitioners freely available over the internet
I have been surprised at the blocks to financial prosperity I previously held." M'reen
Overcoming the Fear of Being Fabulous.
Success can be a catch word
for anything resembling doing better than you did previously.
And, as a general statement,
that’s accurate.
But in the corporate world,
the world of business, success more often resembles a big move up
—a much larger role, a bigger
title, more money. And it’s a success that’s visible to those around you.
For some few people success
of this nature is what they’ve been developing and growing
as an organic process since
they were in grade school.
But for most folks
"jumping up" in one’s career comes with seriously weighty concerns.
Some of them are quite
legitimate and are a measure of mature preparation for a new role.
Others are grounded in false
beliefs about success, which all too often have their roots in childhood.
The most common false beliefs
I’ve witnessed over the years fall into three categories:
*** I’m going to be overwhelmed now that I’ve got this larger role
These people feel compelled
to know everything before they even begin a new role. And since they can’t
possibly do that ahead of time, they live with heightened anxiety, fearful that
at each moment of their new job they will be found out as not deserving of the
promotion they just received.
Because of their anxious
state, they have trouble processing new requests and struggle with
incorporating their manager’s guidance. Tasks keep piling on leading to more
and more confusion rather than utilizing their ability to draw on a system of
prioritization. Too many meetings makes
the overwhelm even worse as
the unfinished assignments pile up even higher.
Yet very often these people
would be outstanding at their jobs if it weren’t for their chronic
and false panic about what’s
required to get the job done, which generally originated
in their childhood home where
impossible "excellence" was demanded and failure
to meet the impossible was
routinely chastised.
*** I need to work extra hard in order to prove myself
When these people take on a
new position, they typically have their eye on the next rung up
as the prize for doing well.
So it makes sense to them to work extra long hours, take on more
responsibilities than they can comfortably execute, and drive themselves into
the ground doing so.
Their daily mantra is
something like, "If I work super hard, my boss is going to notice
how exceptional I am and give
me that promotion." In the meantime, as that promotion fails
to happen, rather than
slowing down a bit, they amp up the determination to "prove
themselves"
in every way they can.
Yet, it seldom works because
their edge of desperation limits how others view their actual output.
Exploration of the individual’s childhood experience has frequently revealed a
situation with
one or both parents who were
emotionally shut down, unable to fulfill the child’s need for sincere
recognition, and were instead oftentimes critical of even the smallest issue
that the child
struggled with.
*** I’m smarter than everyone else and don’t need to prove myself
This rarer group lives with
an inflated and naive concept of their own excellence.
While generally quite bright,
and quite accomplished, they can’t quite imagine why
they shouldn’t have whatever
position they desire right now.
Feedback to the contrary,
providing critical input about their skills, is oftentimes a serious identity
shock. They truly can’t imagine how people could see them as lacking and in
need of professional and/or technical development. While they may be able to reorient
themselves and take on the task of growing a more mature and measured sense of their
abilities, they first chafe at the thought that they need to do this.
Since it strikes right at the
heart of their inflated identity, they often have to question how they were
raised such that they have lived with such a blind-sided vision of themselves.
And it can be quite painful
when they have to betray the "golden child" image they were raised
with in order to actually achieve the excellence that must be earned and
developed.
Success brings many
challenges that can sometimes be surprising, even shocking, and often inspiring
to others when used to grow and develop beyond your previous understanding of
your identity. In this way you demonstrate transformative leadership and serve
as a model for professional maturity.
Judith Sherven, PhD and her
husband Jim Sniechowski, PhD. http://JudithandJim.com
My Article may be of help,
Perhaps you’d like to
check out my sister blogs:
www.innermindworking.blogspot.com gives
many ways for you to work with the stresses of life
www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com describes the steps to
reading in the way your mind prefers
www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com just for fun
www.turbochargedreading.com
for your advanced reading techniques
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