I Used to Be a Perfectionist But I’m Better Now

An excellent and encouraging post and one that enables me to dump all the unread ones 

that tell how to succeed in writing something that is probably not in my style or ability range

and so unachievable. I imagine that writing is like painting or any other art form in that

if it communicates with the viewer / reader then there is success between both parties.

As a therapist I am aware of the value of working with the fears that create procrastination.

M’reen

I Used to Be a Perfectionist But I’m Better Now

Have you ever set yourself a blogging deadline and allowed it to slip by 

because you weren’t completely happy with your post?     

Did you justify your overrun by telling yourself it was important to get things just right?

Is your inner perfectionist killing your creativity?

Perfectionism is a completely understandable defense mechanism,

but in reality is simply a delaying tactic, to avoid the possibility of failure.

We tell ourselves that the reason we haven’t yet posted that new article,

or finished building that website is because we want it to be absolutely,

one hundred percent, flawlessly, undeniably perfect. But what we are really saying is,

“I’m scared to show this to people, because they might laugh at me shoot me down in flames
tell the world I’m an idiot (Delete as appropriate)

It is fear, plain and simple.

So we fiddle and tinker and adjust and tweak and rewrite and polish and rearrange and

do all those other time-wasting things to try to assuage the terror and damp down our self-doubts.

Sometimes we spend so long fiddling that by the time the blog post is ready to go,

it has passed its sell by date or someone else has beaten us to it.

Beating the Perfectionist Bug

The only cure for the infected perfectionist is a healthy dose of rationalism and a change of mindset.

How do you know that version three wasn’t better than what you have now?

Or version one for that matter? Did you test it? How much time could you have saved

and used to create the next piece, rather than fiddling with this one?

The answer is simple – get it out there and move on.

If it’s rubbish, you’ll soon find out from the feedback and you can learn from that and improve

the next one. Chances are it’s not and you’ll get nothing but positives.

I’ve been there.

Having wrestled with self-critical thoughts about my writing for many years,

it was actually blogging that finally released me. I looked at what other people were doing

on the web and I could see immediately that it wasn’t perfect. But, it was good.

I began to realise that readers don’t want perfection, they want useful.

I stopped trying to compete with the best in the business and focused on competing with myself;

making each piece just a little bit better, a little bit more useful than the last.

If I can deliver something of value to just one reader, then my work is done.

Now I can jump into creating and spend less time agonising.

As a result I believe I am a better, more relaxed writer.

I often look back at previous posts and see things that could be improved and sometimes

I do go in and tweak things a little. But, I’ve never yet had anybody comment on my prose style

or my grammar or my twisted syntax.

People engage with what I say, not how I say it.

Or they don’t. And if they don’t, it’s not because my sentences don’t scan smoothly.

It’s because I didn’t say anything very interesting in the first place.

We are not alone.

Having overcome this demon in myself,

I wondered how other people have managed to beat the bug.

One of my favourite bloggers is Darren Rowse of http://Problogger.net. Darren has built one of the most successful and informative blogs on the planet. It is a decent sized business now with over 20,000 visitors a day, but it all began in Darren’s spare time, just like your blog and mine.

He wrote a very revealing piece, recently about all the things that he has created that weren’t perfect and he also talks about all the things that he spent far too long putting off through self-doubt.

In the post he talks about how he started his digital photography blog and how letting go

of his high expectations allowed him to create something that wasn’t ideal, but was enough:

“I had the dream and one day I realised that if I didn’t actually start the blog I’d never have

any chance of arriving at that dream. So I started small.

“I made a call on a brand and domain name – It wasn’t perfect but it allowed me to start
“I started on GoDaddy Hosting – I knew it wasn’t the best option but it allowed me to start
“I started with a free WordPress theme – it wasn’t as professional or customised

as what I saw in my dreams but it allowed me to start
“I wrote a handful of posts – I wanted to have more in my archives but it allowed me to start
“I started with comments switched off to allow me to focus on creating more content

– doing so fell short of my vision for a ‘community’ driven site but it allowed me to get moving”

That repeated phrase sums up everything that is right about taking action, rather than planning for it:

“It wasn’t perfect, but it allowed me to start”.

As Darren shows, the antidote for our perfectionist procrastination is to simply do something.

Do something that’s good enough and then do something else and something else 

and keep on doing something else until, before you know it, you have built the dream.

Nancy Butts, in her brilliantly titled post, Perfection, the Graveyard Where Writers Go to Die, 

suggests that you should:

“Give yourself permission to write dreck, and lots of it. I’m not the first writer to say this, but you have to write a lot of bad prose in order to find your voice, your rhythm, and get to the good stuff.

If you keep your hand moving, eventually after a few minutes something will shift into gear 

in your writer’s brain and a word, a phrase, a sentence will pop out—a good one. OK, maybe it will only be a middling good one at first, but don’t worry. Write it down anyway. You can fix it later.

For now your priority is to stop judging yourself and keep writing.”

http://nancybutts.com/free-tips/perfection/

The Last Word on Perfectionism

The real master philosopher of moving forward and making things happen is Seth Godin,

successful entrepreneur, best-selling author and public speaker.

In this inspiring talk Godin explains exactly why it is that the closer we get to decision time,

the more we start to thrash about in self-doubt.

His mantra, “Ship, don’t thrash” is a perfect summation of exactly why we have to get off our butts 

and create, instead of sitting around picking our perfection scabs.

Or as Salvador Dali said:

“Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never reach it”

My name is Andrew Grant. I’m an aspiring internet marketer, passionate blogger and believer in 

paying it forward. My aim is to deliver more value than I take, so how can I help you? http://freedom-blog.org/about-me/

Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:

www.innermindworking.blogspot.com            gives many ways for you to work with the stresses of life

www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com       describes the steps to reading in the way your mind prefers

www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com          just for fun

www.turbochargedreading.com                    for your advanced reading techniques

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”

Overcoming the Fear of Being Fabulous.

"Another excellent article as I’ve worked with people whose fear of success expressed 

itself as a fear of exams; which mean the potential of taking on a ‘higher’ role

maybe being seen as equal with their current superiors or family.

Working with the energy practitioners freely available over the internet

I have been surprised at the blocks to financial prosperity I previously held." M'reen

Overcoming the Fear of Being Fabulous.  

 Judith Sherven, PhD

Success can be a catch word for anything resembling doing better than you did previously.

And, as a general statement, that’s accurate.

But in the corporate world, the world of business, success more often resembles a big move up

—a much larger role, a bigger title, more money. And it’s a success that’s visible to those around you.

For some few people success of this nature is what they’ve been developing and growing

as an organic process since they were in grade school.

But for most folks "jumping up" in one’s career comes with seriously weighty concerns.

Some of them are quite legitimate and are a measure of mature preparation for a new role.

Others are grounded in false beliefs about success, which all too often have their roots in childhood.

The most common false beliefs I’ve witnessed over the years fall into three categories:

*** I’m going to be overwhelmed now that I’ve got this larger role

These people feel compelled to know everything before they even begin a new role. And since they can’t possibly do that ahead of time, they live with heightened anxiety, fearful that at each moment of their new job they will be found out as not deserving of the promotion they just received.

Because of their anxious state, they have trouble processing new requests and struggle with incorporating their manager’s guidance. Tasks keep piling on leading to more and more confusion rather than utilizing their ability to draw on a system of prioritization. Too many meetings makes

the overwhelm even worse as the unfinished assignments pile up even higher.

Yet very often these people would be outstanding at their jobs if it weren’t for their chronic

and false panic about what’s required to get the job done, which generally originated

in their childhood home where impossible "excellence" was demanded and failure

to meet the impossible was routinely chastised.

*** I need to work extra hard in order to prove myself

When these people take on a new position, they typically have their eye on the next rung up

as the prize for doing well. So it makes sense to them to work extra long hours, take on more responsibilities than they can comfortably execute, and drive themselves into the ground doing so.

Their daily mantra is something like, "If I work super hard, my boss is going to notice

how exceptional I am and give me that promotion." In the meantime, as that promotion fails

to happen, rather than slowing down a bit, they amp up the determination to "prove themselves"

in every way they can.

Yet, it seldom works because their edge of desperation limits how others view their actual output. Exploration of the individual’s childhood experience has frequently revealed a situation with

one or both parents who were emotionally shut down, unable to fulfill the child’s need for sincere recognition, and were instead oftentimes critical of even the smallest issue that the child

struggled with.　

*** I’m smarter than everyone else and don’t need to prove myself

This rarer group lives with an inflated and naive concept of their own excellence.

While generally quite bright, and quite accomplished, they can’t quite imagine why

they shouldn’t have whatever position they desire right now.

Feedback to the contrary, providing critical input about their skills, is oftentimes a serious identity shock. They truly can’t imagine how people could see them as lacking and in need of professional and/or technical development. While they may be able to reorient themselves and take on the task of growing a more mature and measured sense of their abilities, they first chafe at the thought that they need to do this.

Since it strikes right at the heart of their inflated identity, they often have to question how they were raised such that they have lived with such a blind-sided vision of themselves.

And it can be quite painful when they have to betray the "golden child" image they were raised with in order to actually achieve the excellence that must be earned and developed.　

Success brings many challenges that can sometimes be surprising, even shocking, and often inspiring to others when used to grow and develop beyond your previous understanding of your identity. In this way you demonstrate transformative leadership and serve as a model for professional maturity.

Judith Sherven, PhD and her husband Jim Sniechowski, PhD. http://JudithandJim.com 

My Article may be of help,

How do you know if you have a problem in any of the areas suggested?

Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:

www.innermindworking.blogspot.com            gives many ways for you to work with the stresses of life

www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com       describes the steps to reading in the way your mind prefers

www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com          just for fun

www.turbochargedreading.com                    for your advanced reading techniques

Get off your butt or suffer.

Photo of Ipswich taken by M'reen

"Though the detail has come as an alarming surprise I can certainly support this through personal experience. Interestingly, again, I’ve started this morning with my stopwatch set for ½ hourly 

get up and move periods." M'reen

Study: Prolonged sitting jeopardizes older women's health

by Ted Boscia

(Medical Xpress)—A human body at rest will remain at rest – and that means health woes for older women. Led by Cornell nutritional scientist Rebecca Seguin, a new study of some 93,000 postmenopausal American women found those with the highest amounts of sedentary time – defined as sitting and resting but excluding sleeping – died earlier than their most active peers. The association remained even when controlling for physical mobility and function, chronic disease status, demographic factors and overall fitness – meaning that even habitual exercisers are at risk if they have high amounts of idle time.

The paper, "Sedentary Behavior and Mortality in Older Women," was published online Jan. 7 in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine.

Seguin and co-authors found that women with more than 11 hours of daily sedentary time faced a 12 percent increase in all-cause premature mortality compared with the most energetic group – those with four hours or less of inactivity. The former group also upped their odds for death due to cardiovascular disease, coronary heart disease and cancer by 13, 27 and 21 percent, respectively.

"The assumption has been that if you're fit and physically active, that will protect you, even if you spend a huge amount of time sitting each day," said Seguin, assistant professor of nutritional sciences in the College of Human Ecology. "In fact, in doing so you are far less protected from negative health effects of being sedentary than you realize."

Worse still, Seguin said, excess sedentary time tends to make it harder to regain physical strength and function. Women begin to lose muscle mass at age 35, a change that accelerates with menopause. Regular exercise, especially lifting weights and other muscular strength-building exercises, helps to counteract these declines, but her research finds that more everyday movement on top of working out is also important for maintaining health.

"In general, a use it or lose it philosophy applies," Seguin said. "We have a lot of modern conveniences and technologies that, while making us more efficient, also lead to decreased activity and diminished ability to do things. Women need to find ways to remain active."

Starting in middle age and even younger, Seguin said, women can adopt "small changes that make a big difference."

"If you're in an office, get up and move around frequently," she said. "If you're retired and have more idle time, find ways to move around inside and outside the house. Get up between TV programs, take breaks in computer and reading time and be conscious of interrupting prolonged sedentary time."

Though previous research has linked prolonged sedentary time with poor health outcomes, the study by Seguin is one of the largest and most ethnically diverse of its type. The women, ages 50-79 at the study's outset as part of the national Women's Health Initiative Study, were followed over 12 or more years.

"Some earlier studies found a more dramatic effect on mortality risk from sedentary time, and others are similar to our findings. Collectively, this adds to the growing body of research linking inactivity to poor health outcomes," said Seguin.

www.ajpmonline.org/webfiles/images/journals/amepre/AMEPRE_3949-stamped-010714.pdf

Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:

www.innermindworking.blogspot.com            gives many ways for you to work with the stresses of life

www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com       describes the steps to reading in the way your mind prefers

www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com          just for fun

www.turbochargedreading.com                    for your advanced reading techniques

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”

Wheels of life or how your stress and time pie is cut.

This sun dial at Ely Cathedral has probably seen all the emotions, follies and time considerations of man.
Photo taken by M'reen

Wheels of life or how your time pie is cut. M'reen

First draw a simple circle and divide it into 8 equal segments and label each segment

1.  Spouse/partner          2.  Children          3.  Work                    4.  Home

5.  Social life                    6.  Health             7.  Family/friends       8.  Problem/s

Now give each segment a subjective satisfaction score by

putting a number in each segment that represents your general satisfaction in this area:

0 being not enough > 10 being just enough.

Then shade in how much you feel that number applies to you today 

or just now after a comment has been made or a thought thunkJ

The Wheel of Life.

You may wish to draw multiple wheels or you may find using

Label the segment and fill in your satisfaction level.

Choose a category or make one up. Do the ones you’ve missed.

You might want to draw a wheel for X years/situation ago and one for where you would like to be.

children   /   own    /    others	home /  house	opportunity
charity	habits	look after / self / others
change	health	personal growth
danger	image / personal / public	relationship / self /  others
energy	joy	relaxation
education	kindness /  self / others	security / self / relationship/ things
entertainment	love / self / others	social
home/ physical/ work	money	serenity/ self/ family /work/ others
fun	maturity	sport
family  /  you are in / came from	new	travel

  

It would be interested to make your own categories, make more segments if you want.

Leave some blank one so that you can add categories.

For example if you are working on weight you could do a new wheel

on your weighing morning once a week for 4 weeks.

Things like: feeling> thin days, happy, optimistic, relaxed, patient, sleeping better, more forgiving of self and others, less stressed, don’t notice irritations as much, thinking nice things about myself, 

more creative, giving myself time, etc. You could list these along the long side of a page and put 

a little bar thermometer above each ranging from 0 to 10, 0= this doesn’t happen in your life 

to 10 I’m full of these feelings/skills.

Research shows that filling in a chart gets 55% better results.

Now make a 24 hour clock and guess how much time you spend per day doing whatever.

Or a week clock and guess how much time you spend sleeping, working etc.

Then actually find out what you really do and you may be surprised at the results.

And find that you can, in fact, squeeze in some e.g. exercise with this awareness.

Or you could create a hierarchy of needs chart and this is not a wheel

but more like an ordered bullet point scale.

Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:

www.innermindworking.blogspot.com            gives many ways for you to work with the stresses of life

www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com       describes the steps to reading in the way your mind prefers

www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com          just for fun

www.turbochargedreading.com                    for your advanced reading techniques

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”

Confidence has a knock-on effect.

Confidence has a knock-on effect.

I have already spied Dorothy and her dog in the Dolomites [see Nordic Walking Guru spies the ridiculous]. I now have the Nordic Walking Tinman as shown in the photo above.
But what about the lions? I have many ‘lions’ who have come to me for Nordic Walking. 

They all have courage to try something new and they all agreed that Nordic Walking has given them something new – CONFIDENCE.
* Lion 1 is totally blind and has been attending sessions for six years. I wear bells on my wrist 

             and she follows them.
* Lion 2 has a condition that severely affects walking and would be travelling around in a wheel chair 

              had she not attempted Nordic Walking.
* Lions 3+4 have Parkinsons and with the improved stability and balance provided by poles 

             have gone from shakey starts to speedy Nordic Walkers.
* Lion 5 is Diabetic and since taking up Nordic Walking as a daily activity has managed to lose 4 stones 

             in weight and given some stability to sugar levels.
* Lions 6+7 both have had hip replacements. Using poles has assisted the speed of their recovery. 

            They even use their poles on trips to the shopping centres.
* Lions 8, 9+10 are recovering from Strokes. Introduced at a convenient time of rehabilitation the poles assist with balance when walking and the bi-lateral action is helpful in stimulating brain processes.
All my ‘lions’ will agree that Nordic Walking is not a miracle cure for anything but the CONFIDENCE 

it gives when walking also transfers to everyday life.

In all cases Nordic Walking has improved the quality of life.
Best wishes. The Wizard (Guru).

http://nordicwalking4wellbeing.wordpress.com/

Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:

www.innermindworking.blogspot.com            gives many ways for you to work with the stresses of life

www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com       describes the steps to reading in the way your mind prefers

www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com          just for fun

www.turbochargedreading.com                    for your advanced reading techniques

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”

Simple Way to Put Aside Time for Myself

"We all need a client called Mr Potter - yes a wizard would be useful, 

Mr Potter  is for your pottering around time." M'reen

Simple Way to Put Aside Time for Myself

How often did I hear “I don’t have time”? Even if I don’t remember, I am sure I did, when I was a child, 

at home, on television, at school, at work.

Quite often does everyone around me repeat this phrase. I used to say it like a mantra too.

Living in a western society is not easy (living, in general is not easy).

Every day I operate, like many others, under a self constructed pressure to do better, to be better, 

to have perfect nails and hair, to be fit, to work and earn more, to be a better friend, better sister 

and so on.

And it all consumes time.

I used to daydream about going for a walk along the river, but I had to stay at work.

I wanted to stay in bed with a cup of delicious tea. Instead, I found myself attending yet another language course. I wanted to go skiing for a week, but I had more important things to do.

Sounds familiar?

And it was not the lack of time management which caused this situation of discontent. 

I was an ace in planning and to-do lists.

I had my long time and short time goals written down.

But, somehow I caught myself running out of energy and enthusiasm.

Then one day, something struck me.

I was doing some budgeting for the month, when it downed upon me why my time management methods will never allow me to have the time for myself.

It was not the techniques that were to blame. It was my wrong thinking.

I was sitting at my desk on a Sunday morning with my favorite cup of coffee, 

looking outside the window at leaves falling from a young oak in the yard.

It was a warm, clear autumn day and I wanted to deal with my planning as fast as possible 

so I could go for a walk.

I had my notebook in front of me and my laptop’s screen was showing my bank account balance.

I begun writing down the amounts I wanted to transfer for my saving accounts, charity, bills and others, then calculating what was left for what I call life: food, clothes, going out, transportation and others.

I then realized that for a couple of years now I had been putting aside and investing just after 

my payment for the apartment and bills for the phone, electricity, and so on – basically the stuff 

I could not live without.

When I was done with my budget, I followed to a heavy to-do list for the next week 

and begun to assign activities to certain points in time.

And then I got it. 

Time for myself, the time I was missing so much, was not on my list! There was my work, laundry, shopping, having lunch with friends, language course, helping my sister and million other things.

I knew very well that if saving and investing did not appear in my budget, I would never manage 

to transfer any amount of money to that specific cause.

And, if time for myself was not on the list, it could not become a part of my life. Time is like money!

I am sure you know what most people do with their money (and possibly, you follow this strategy as well): they earn, they spend and they save what’s left. There is usually nothing left.

It’s the same with time. I planned, I worked from my to-do-lists, and if I had any time left, I would do something for myself. I never had any time left!

If I wanted to save money, I needed to count the amount that I wanted to put aside as a cost.

That meant paying myself first. I begun to introduce this idea to my time planning – I would write 

“Time for myself” in my calendar and I would not erase it!

It entered my to-do lists. And it became my priority.

I made three simple rules, which I am careful not to break:

-          Do not lie to yourself and other people (do not use the phrase “I don’t have time”). 

You have time! Like everyone else on this planet, you have exactly 24 hours a day.

-          Do not resign from sleep. You will be more effective and energetic when you sleep enough.

-          You must learn to say “no” to people asking you for something and not feel guilty about it. 

You must make time for yourself a priority. Convince yourself that this is something you need (like breathing and eating). It must become your MUST. You don’t need to explain to anyone why or what for.

I must admit it does not come easy. Some people just can’t take “no” for an answer and sometimes 

I’m almost sick with guilt when I explain “why not”.

Accidentally I cannot take “no” for an answer as well. I sabotage my own laws by doing housework during my time, then pretending nothing happened and avoiding looking in my own eyes in the mirror.

So as you see, it is not a classic happy ending, as I am still learning to say “no” and discovering 

what is important to myself.

But managing my resources, both time and money, taught me one thing:

It is vital to recognize what you really need in your life and make it a priority – with no regrets 

and no guilt!

Making time for rest, passions and little pleasures is not selfish, it’s healthy.

And as you begin to treat the time for yourself as a natural and necessary ingredient of life, 

you will feel more energetic, worthy and self-confident.

If you were just saying to yourself “oh, I would love to feel more energetic and self-confident”, 

don’t just sit but grab a red pen and write your name on a page in your calendar.

Plan a great date with yourself for one hour and don’t allow your children, dog, boss or delivery boy break your peace.

Paint, listen to your favorite music or take a long walk. The world will probably not fall apart 

during your absence.

And if it does, you’ll have even more time for yourself.

_______________________________________________________________________

Danka Czarnecka draws cartoons for her blog. She is on a mission to become a better and happier person. She believes that to make the best of oneself is the most useful thing one can do for others. On her blog she shares her observations about life hoping to inspire her readers and… make them laugh.

http://www.growupproper.com/simple-way-to-put-aside-time-for-myself/

Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:

www.innermindworking.blogspot.com            gives many ways for you to work with the stresses of life

www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com       describes the steps to reading in the way your mind prefers

www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com          just for fun

www.turbochargedreading.com                    for your advanced reading techniques

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”

7 things successful people never say.

Image courtesy of Juli; Flickr

You want to be successful. Everyone does. But your actual words might be undermining your chances of success. The things you say in the office, no matter how innocuous they seem to you, might be knocking you down the career ladder and putting the top position you dream about out of reach.
Your career is too important to be tanked by a few negative phrases. Here are the seven things you should strike from your workplace vocabulary if you want to achieve the success you richly deserve:

1. “That’s not in my job description.”
When you accepted your current position, you had a good idea of what the responsibilities and workload of the role would entail. Throughout the months or years since you settled into your job, however, your role has expanded and changed shape. Some of these changes have probably been good, while others have made you wish for simpler times. When a boss or manager piles another responsibility on your already sore shoulders, it might be tempting to pull out this classic gem of work avoidance.
The better option, however, is to schedule a time to talk to your boss about your role. A specific conversation about your place in the organization is a good time to bring up the particulars of your job description, not when you’re asked to get something accomplished. No matter how stressed you are or how valid the complaint, dropping this phrase only makes you look lazy and unmotivated.

2. “It can’t be done.”
Throwing in the towel makes you look like a quitter -- and quitters don’t get promoted. Instead of giving up on a project entirely, frame your response in terms of alternative ways to get the work accomplished. Very little is truly impossible, and most managers and executives want forward-thinking problem solvers to climb the corporate ladder. If you offer solutions instead of giving up, you’ll be seen as a valuable member of the team.

3. “It’s not my fault.”
No one wants to work with a blame shifter. After all, it’s just a matter of time before this person eventually shifts the blame onto you. Take ownership of your mistakes instead of pointing out where others have fallen short. Admitting to a mistake shows character and the ability to learn and grow from problems. Pointing the finger at someone else strongly implies you’ll never truly learn from your errors.

4. “This will just take a minute.”
Unless something will literally take only 60 seconds, don’t overpromise and underdeliver. Saying something will only take “a minute” also has the side effect of undermining your efforts. Most likely the reason the particular task won’t take long is due to the benefit of your professional experience and acumen. By saying it will “just” take a minute, you're shortchanging what you bring to the table.

5. “I don’t need any help.”
The rugged lone wolf type might be the hero of most action movies, but they’re unlikely to become the hero at your company. You might think you can go it alone on a project or in your career, but teamwork is essential. Being able to work with others is the hallmark of a good leader; you’re unlikely to climb your career ladder always flying solo.

6. “It’s not fair.”
Life isn’t fair, and often your career won’t be as well. Instead of complaining, you should look for specific and actionable workarounds to the problems you encounter. Is it unfair a coworker got to run point on the project you wanted? Maybe, but instead of complaining, work harder and go the extra mile. Finding a solution will always be preferable in your professional life to whining about a problem.

7. “This is the way it’s always been done.”
Doing things the way they’ve always been done is no way to run a business. Just ask some of the companies which toed the line, accepted the status quo, and went under. Adapting to an ever-changing marketplace is really the only way to survive in an economy constantly being disrupted by the next big thing. You don’t have to be a slave to the trends, but you also can’t stick your head in the sand and hope things go back to normal. Instead, come up with creative solutions to new problems and innovate, and you’ll soon be in the driver’s seat taking your organization into the future.

Everyone wants to be successful, so make sure your words aren’t holding you back. These seven phrases are career kryptonite -- by avoiding them, you can fly into your future and become a successful superstar.

Ilya Pozin:

https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140401151943-5799319-the-7-things-successful-people-never-say?trk=tod-home-art-list-large_0

Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:

www.innermindworking.blogspot.com            gives many ways for you to work with the stresses of life

www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com       describes the steps to reading in the way your mind prefers

www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com          just for fun

www.turbochargedreading.com                     for your advanced reading techniques

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”