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10 Things
Managers Should Know About Difficult Employees
Susan
Ways, SPHR
Sr. Director Human Resources at Nuo Therapeutics
Difficult employees are known for causing disruption to
the workplace,
but if a manager can take some time to look beyond the
behavior there is much more going on
than their behavior would dictate. Understanding these
underlying characteristics
can help managers when coaching their difficult
employees.
They key issue is always do managers have the time and/or
the interest in working with
difficult employees. Managers have a lot on their plate
and managing people is probably
one of the most time intensive activities.
There are some employees who managers will be able to
turn around
while others need to be exited. It can take time to figure
this out
and along with being good task managers we must become
adept at managing people and behaviors which puts us into an “armchair
psychologist” mode.
Difficult employees are typically unhappy or negative in
general.
Getting to the root of this to help them become aware of
and understand how this plays
into their performance may be significant in their
transformation.
This can also be a good opportunity for managers to see
who is coachable and who is not.
How can we as managers figure this out?
Below are 10 secrets of difficult employees that some
may, or may not be willing to admit,
while others remain completely unaware of them.
A tuned in manager who can help surface these traits and
deal with them head on
will be much more successful in turning that employee
from a difficult one to an engaged performer.
They want to be liked.
Just like most people, difficult employees want to be
liked.
It seems to be a contrast when you look at their behavior
but they do want to be liked and fit in
with the organization. Generally they get attention and
have a loyal band of followers
which satisfies their need to be liked. How
to handle this: Speak to the employee one on one.
Talk to them about their self-brand and how their
behavior has created that self-brand.
It is also a great time to talk about the value of being
respected over being liked
as that will carry an employee much further in their
career.
They want to be noticed.
The best thing a manager can do is to really highlight
the good performance attributes
of difficult employees, while coaching the not so good
attributes.
It is important for difficult employees to know that they
are positively contributing
from a work perspective. If the good they do is ignored
and only the negative is talked about,
just like a mischievous child, they will gravitate
towards that which gets them recognition.
How to handle this: As
a manager, make sure you are tuned into the right things
and not just focused on the bad behaviors. This is
another opportunity to talk about self-brand
by asking what they want to be recognized or known for.
Getting noticed for the right things should always be the
end goal.
They are hard on themselves. What you hear difficult employees
complaining about is
just the camel nose under the tent of what goes on in
their mind.
They tend to dwell on their own mistakes and in an effort
to self soothe,
point out the mistakes of others. There is a saying, the
way someone behaves says more about them than it does about the situation. This
couldn’t be truer with difficult employees.
The way they interact with their external environment is
a good indication
of the way they treat themselves. How
to handle this: I
think it is important to turn the tables
and ask employees if they were coaching an employee in
this situation what would they say.
I remember earlier in my career I made a mistake that
caused an issue between managers.
When my manager called me to discuss with me, I told him
that there was nothing he could say
to me that would be any worse than what I already said to
myself. He said nothing more to me. These types of conversations give insight
to how connected employees are to their behavior.
They are emotional.
They demand perfection from themselves and become
emotionally abusive
when they miss the mark. They also demand perfection from
their environment
and the people within it and feel the need to emotionally
react when things don’t go as planned. This emotional reactivity may come from
passion, perfectionism or a need to be noticed.
These emotional outbursts are their default setting. They
lack the emotional intelligence
necessary to be respected colleagues even when they are
good at what they do.
How to handle: This takes a lot of coaching. Emotional
intelligence isn’t something
that you can necessarily teach, but you can provide tools
and awareness
to help employees recognize and change their default
setting.
They are sensitive. Going along with emotional they are
sensitive and get their feelings hurt easily. They are tuned into the negative
things and can easily pull them out of any interaction.
Their sensitivity is generally what drives their
interactions and prompts them
to react emotionally. How to handle this: People who are sensitive tend to take
feedback well
from those they feel have their best interest at heart.
There needs to be a sense of trust.
The more you can cultivate that type of a relationship as
a manager
the more receptive your employees will be.
They are passionate.
Actually emotional, sensitive and passionate go hand in
hand. They really do care
about creating a good work place but their habit of
focusing on negative,
looking for ways they have been slighted and creating a
disturbance are all rooted in their passion. They want to be noticed, they want
to be heard, and they want to feel valued.
Regardless of whether you agree or disagree, they are
passionate about what they think
and feel. How to handle this: Again,
creating awareness over behavior and how that is perceived
by others is key here. Passion is wonderful when
channeled in the right way
but it can be destructive otherwise.
They are socially smart. Although difficult employees lack
emotional intelligence
they are typically very smart when it comes to social
intelligence.
They are very adept at manipulating a group of people,
department or even entire organizations with their antics. They know who to
engage, how to get grapevine communication going
and how to tip a culture. Typically they are socially
adept enough to know how far
they can push things without causing too much self-risk. How
to handle this: Do
not ignore this behavior or give someone a pass. Call them out on it. Once an
employee sent me a snarky email
with the subject line, “I am confused”. I responded (to
All) stating that I didn’t believe
they were confused and let them know that I would be by
to discuss their email in person.
The employee quickly apologized (to All).
They are competitive. And, they are watching everything
their Managers do.
I used to refer to this as “measuring the milk glasses”
with my kids.
When you pour one child an inch more of milk than the
other, it is a clear indication
that you like them better. This is what difficult
employees do.
They measure how managers interact with other team
members and use that to determine
who the manager likes more. Generally the person they
perceive to be in favor will be the target
of their campaign. How to handle this: I
like to believe that even though life is competitive
in general, the only true competition we need to be
focused on is with who we were yesterday, always striving to be a better
version of yourself. That may be a bit Pollyanna-ish for some
but really getting to the root of competitiveness is
important. Some competition is good
as it can inspire or light a fire under an employee.
Too much is bad and can be toxic to an organization.
They are insecure. All of the behavior that we consider
difficult,
comes from a place of deep insecurity. They aren’t
confident enough to be liked
or valued on their own merit so they attempt to undermine
others
(usually those they feel are in favor) to boost their
sense of self.
To them any attention is positive – even when the
attention is negative.
How to handle this: Ask
people if their behaviors are aligned with their end goal.
If you are afraid of not being liked for instance, is
gossiping about your co-workers
going to inspire people to like you more. In many cases
insecurity causes us to behave in ways
that become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
They are afraid. In the end, even difficult employees
are operating from a core of fear.
They are afraid they won’t be noticed for their
contribution, potential, personality or intelligence. They kick up a bunch of
dust in hopes to distract the organization from their inadequacies
(perceived or real) and focus on broken processes,
organizational sabotage and underperforming colleagues. How
to handle this: Of
course we can’t promise anyone they will have a job.
We can work with them to set values, expectations and
show them how to be successful.
We can also address behaviors that are undesirable. We
can let employees know that
we are here to support them and that we want them to be
successful
but in the end success is really up to them.
When coaching these difficult employees it is important
to determine which of these behaviors
are present and address it head on. Keep bringing them
back to what you need
or want to see from them. Remind them of why you hired
them. Let them know that their behaviors are actually overshadowing their value
and if they really want to be a valued player in the company they need to
quickly rethink their strategies.
Either they can make a change or the organization will
make a change. The choice is theirs.
Susan
Ways is an HR Executive focused on transformational change for both individuals
and organizations. For more information please visit www.inspiredsuccesscoaching.com
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/10-things-managers-should-know-difficult-employees-susan-ways-sphr
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