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Five Ways To Never Be Stressed Again
Everybody feels stress and knows it intimately,
but very few
of us think about what stress actually is.
Stress is a thought. That’s it. No more, no less.
If that’s true, then we have complete control over
stress,
because it’s not something that happens to us but something that
happens in us.
The dictionary definition of stress is, “bodily or mental
tension resulting
from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium.”
It is your thoughts out of balance.
The medical definition of stress is, “the perception of a real or imagined
threat to your body
or your ego.” It could be a tiger chasing you or your
belief that your spouse is mad at you
(even if he or she is not). Whether it is real or
imagined, when you perceive something
as stressful, it creates the same response in the body.
A cascade of adrenaline, cortisol, and other stress
hormones floods your system,
raising your heart rate, increasing your blood pressure,
making your blood more likely to clot, damaging your brain’s memory center,
increasing belly fat storage,
and generally wreaking havoc on your body.
The operative word here about stress is that it is a perception, also known as a thought
or point of view. There are objective stressors, to be
sure—war, death of loved ones,
financial troubles, starvation, dental work. But how
these affect us determines our body’s stress response. Imagine Woody Allen and
James Bond, each with a gun pointed at his head—
same external stressor but entirely different responses.
When I was very sick with chronic fatigue, barely able to
work, a single father with two kids,
thinking I had to go on disability, I worried constantly.
I couldn’t sleep and everything
seemed stressful. Then, a wise man told me I had to stop
worrying. I argued with him strenuously, providing a comprehensive list of all
the real external events
that were stressful to me.
He just kept repeating that worrying was toxic; he said,
what really mattered was
how I viewed the situation, and he kept telling me I just
needed to stop worrying.
And slowly, very slowly, I trained myself to watch my
thoughts, my perceptions,
and when a stressful thought came into my head, I
stopped, took a deep breath, and just let go.
It’s like a muscle—it gets stronger the more you use it,
but if you let go, it relaxes.
But of course, life takes over and things happen, all the
“D’s:” divorce, death, deadlines, demands, dumb thoughts, and dumb schedules.
And as anyone does, I get sucked in to negative thinking, which creates stress
in my body.
My sleep gets interrupted, my muscles get tight, my mood gets cranky,
but then I breathe and remember that
stress is all in my head.
We get so attached to our way of thinking, to our beliefs
and attitudes about the way things should be or shouldn’t
be, that it makes us sick.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t respond to injustice or
experience intense feelings of joy, happiness, sadness, loss, or pain. I do.
But I try just to be fully in them when they come,
then experience the next moment, then the next and the
next,
and just show up with my whole self with love and
attention. That’s the only thing I can do.
Most people, when they look at my life, think I’m crazy
and wonder why I’m not more stressed—running a medical practice; writing books
and blogs; teaching all over the world;
working on health policy; volunteering in Haiti,
churches, and orphanages; being a father, son, brother, partner, friend, boss,
and more. But it’s actually quite simple.
I don’t worry about things much. I simply wake up and do
the next thing as best I can.
And when things get out of control, which they do, I
simply make a gentle U-turn.
It’s like a GPS for my soul. Your GPS doesn’t yell at you and call you
stupid
or judge you for taking a wrong turn.
In the sweetest voice imaginable, the GPS reminds you to
take the next possible U-turn.
Each of us has to find out how to make our own U-turn.
There are some wonderful ways I have discovered that work
very well for me!
Here’s how I make my U-turns (and I try to pick one or
more each day):
Move. The
best way to burn off the stress hormones without having to change your thinking
is to move and sweat. Run, dance, jump, ride, swim,
stretch, or skip—do something vigorous
and lively. Yoga is also fabulous, as it combines
movement and breathing.
Breathe. Most
of us hold our breath often or breathe swallow, anxious breaths.
Deep, slow, full breaths have a profound affect on
resetting the stress response,
because the relaxation nerve (or vagus nerve and not the
Las Vegas nerve)
goes through your diaphragm and is activated with every
deep breath.
Take five deep breaths now, and observe how differently
you feel after.
Bathe. For the lazy among us
(including me), an UltraBath is a secret weapon against stress.
Add 2 cups of Epsom salt (which contains magnesium, the
relaxation mineral),
a half-cup of baking soda, and 10 drops of lavender oil
(which lowers cortisol) to a very hot bath. Then, add one stressed human and
soak for 20 minutes. Guaranteed to induce relaxation.
Sleep. Lack
of sleep increases stress hormones. Get your eight hours no matter what.
Take a nap if you missed your sleep. Prioritize sleep.
Think Differently. Practice the art of noticing
stress, noticing how your thinking
makes you stressed. Practice taking deep
breaths and letting go of worry.
Try Byron Katie’s four questions to
break the cycle of “stinkin’ thinkin’” that keeps you stressed.
You can also try my UltraCalm CD, featuring guided mediations and relaxation
techniques.
Also, I highly recommend tapping, a technique that
combines ancient Chinese acupressure
and modern psychology. Pick up a copy of Nick Ortner’s
new book The
Tapping Solution
to learn more. Another great stress-relief technique to
try is Holosync, an audio technology
designed by the Centerpointe Research Institute, which
instantly (and effortlessly)
puts you into states of deep meditation—literally, at the
push of a button.
Visit Centerpointe’s website to find out more.
Also, check out meQuilibrium, a digital coaching system created by experts
to change
the way you respond to stress. It teaches specific skills
to help you get a handle
on all of the emotional, physical, and lifestyle
imbalances that keep you from feeling your best.
Enjoy, and happy U-turns!
To your good health,
Mark Hyman, MD
http://drhyman.com/blog/2013/04/26/five-ways-to-never-be-stressed-again/#openModal
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Perhaps
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www.innermindworking.blogspot.com
gives many ways for you to work with the stresses of
life
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www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com
just for fun.
To
quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will
know.
The
more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”
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