Embrace Who You Are (Not What People Expect You to Be)
By Paresh Shah
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re
supposed to be
and embracing who we are.” ~Brené Brown
Now that the fog of what everyone else wanted for me has
lifted,
it seems so clear to me that we need to be who we truly
are—not what society expects us to be.
But it wasn’t always this way.
For decades, I bought into a model of success that
belonged to someone else.
I was studying for my MBA, but I didn’t want my friends
to think I was weird,
so I didn’t reveal that I was a yogi. I didn’t want them
to not take me seriously,
to laugh at the thought of me doing yoga while wearing a
business suit.
And I wouldn’t tell my yoga students that I liked heavy
metal because I feared it would make me
look less spiritual. When was the last time you heard the
Dalai Lama talk about Ozzy Osbourne?
I didn’t delve into the artistic sides of my spirit—the
parts that painfully wanted to celebrate music, art, or poetry—because I was
led to believe
it was a distraction from my professional career.
I was caught in a catch-22 where I couldn’t be one thing
because I was another.
Society would only accept me as one.
Reality Doesn’t Bite
In fact, I have seen the exact opposite.
The more I practice finding, being, and expressing
myself,
the more prosperity I experience and the better I perform
in business.
Most importantly, I’m living the advice we give our kids:
be yourself.
By finding our true selves, we can express ourselves
internally and to those around us,
and that’s when we become aware of this symphony.
Today,
we often get trapped in the little“self,” or the pain body, as Eckhart Tolle calls it.
It’s the false mask we put on to protect ourselves and
fit in with others’ expectations.
Connecting with our true selves is challenging—we often
feel a great deal of pressure
to meet societal demands of who we should be or
what we should look like,
often in direct conflict with authenticity.
Yet we have the great potential to unveil our true selves
and rock the universe.
Break Past Societal Demands
Societal demands know no bounds—they impact both men and
women,
but they affect them in different ways.
I’ve found that, while self-expression is difficult for
everyone, men often put up a different façade
of who they think they need to be at work and home; then,
they pretend that it’s not a façade. Women, on the other hand, are more aware
of this façade.
Women are also more reluctant to express all the facets
of their personalities
until they’re comfortable with a group. Men will often
put up a façade and stay in it longer.
Women need a sense of trust to open up, which takes time.
In both cases, inauthenticity
can lead to dysfunction, stress, disease, and distance
from your highest potential.
Uncover Your True Identify
That’s not to say that you must express all facets of who
you are at all times for all people.
As humans, we must be authentic and
true with the aspects of ourselves that we do express
in each context. Letting only certain facets of the
diamond in you shine in various settings
is perfectly fine as long as it’s a facet of the true
you—not a false mask.
Here are some actions you can take to tap into spirit by
tapping into your authentic self:
1. Do yoga.
I strongly recommend Kundalini Yoga, which works at all
levels—physical, psychological,
emotional, and spiritual. It gets you out of your head
and helps you uncover
your unique vibrations without letting your brain or fear
take over.
2. Sit in silence for a few minutes.
I do this every day. Sit in the space of your greatness
and spirit.
Do nothing, chant nothing, and don’t worry about how you
sit; just be.
Sounds easy, right? Try it. It’s one of the hardest
things for many people to do,
yet it’s the most powerful way to get connected to your
true source.
3. Self-reflect.
When you think, “I can’t be that way” or “What will they
think?”
ask yourself where this voice is coming from. Is it fear,
the need to be liked, or a need to fit in?
Then, adjust your strategy and take a few risks. Find a
way to be authentically present
and engaged, and let that part of you speak, act,
or even stay silent.
4. Put pen to paper.
Ask yourself for details of who you are, and write them
down.
Ask yourself, “Am I authentic in my expression and
experience of each of these roles?
What is one thing I can do to move closer to my authentic
expression in each facet of who I am
—my words, my appearance, and my actions?” If you journal
first thing in the morning,
it propels you to another whole level of
self-realization.
5. Tune out the negativity.
When you’re watching TV or reading a magazine or a
website and you hear the message
“you’re not good enough as
you are,” turn it off or simply say, “I reject that.”
You’re a powerful and divine expression of spirit back to
spirit—perfect and complete.
The more authentic you are, the more you will know and
experience this.
6. Take action.
Take one action that’s a true expression of your unique self
or your unique note
in the symphony of the universe. Just speak or act
authentically in a small way
when you’re tempted to stay quiet or pretend you’re
something else, and see how it feels.
Keenly observe how you feel afterward. Are you breathing
deeper? Smiling more?
Feeling less tense?
You have the potential to shape a new reality as you
discover your true self.
You must tune in to the incredibly unique and beautiful
kaleidoscope of who you are
and let it shine. Experiment a bit, especially around your
closest friends and family.
Embrace your authentic self, and in enacting this
positive change,
you’ll enact a powerful change in the world around you.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/embrace-who-you-are-not-what-people-expect-you-to-be/
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