Welcome to Malham. UK
20 Real Life
Examples of An Extroverted Introvert
So You Don’t Get Confused
David Khim
If you’re like me, you’re an extroverted introvert.
You can be outgoing, yet you desperately need your
alone time.
You can’t do that. You’re one or the other.
No, this is how I am. And that’s how many other people
are. But we’re often misunderstood.
Take for instance, people often see me as completely,
inarguably, extroverted
because that’s the personality that gets the most
attention.
The other side of me, the side that stays home and reads
all day, doesn’t get any attention
(but I love doing that, take a look at my reading
list if you don’t believe me).
Let me tell you what happened a few weekends ago.
I spent Saturday alone, reading, writing, getting errands
done.
At 8:54 pm, I got a text from a friend, asking what I was up to.
He was
making plans to go out. I responded, “Nothing. What’s up?”
Fifteen minutes passed and he didn’t respond. I wanted to
go out and considered calling him
to see what was happening, but also wanted to sit in bed
and read a book
before going to bed at 10 pm. So I didn’t call.
Another fifteen minutes passed and I finally made the
call.
It took half an hour and a significant amount of energy
for me to put down my book,
pick up my phone, and call him to figure out the plan for
that night.
So instead of staying in and reading myself to sleep,
I left my apartment at 9:30 pm to go out for drinks.
And you know what I did? I danced. And I was obnoxious.
And I had tons of fun.
But the next day? I sat at a coffee shop and read a book.
I did some grocery shopping, cooked,
and ate alone while watching Netflix. I spoke to almost
no one.
I only texted my friend who I went out with the night
before to see how he was doing.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone. And I loved it.
So yes I’m outgoing. But not all the time.
The fact is, extroversion and introversion isn’t
an either/or type of thing.
It’s a spectrum and you can lie anywhere along that
spectrum.
For us, we happen to be very close to the middle and even
flip-flop between the two.
I know, it’s confusing.
Some of us learned to become more extroverted because we
realize that the basis
of human nature is grounded in interacting with
each other – it’s kind of unavoidable.
To relieve you of some confusion,
here are a few things we’d like you to know about
extroverted introverts.
1. We’re often
quiet, but it doesn’t mean we don’t want to talk.
We most likely have plenty of thoughts we want to talk
about,
but think that they won’t interest you. We’d rather
listen to you talk
because we want to learn about you and we know you’d
enjoy talking.
2. And just
because we like being around people doesn’t mean we want to talk.
Talking requires a lot of effort. For us, being around
people is often enough to make us happy.
I know, it’s a little confusing.
3. We like hanging
out one on one better than groups. We’ll listen to you forever.
One on one hangouts are more intimate and we like that.
It means we get a chance
to actually get to know you and have a thorough conversation
about what we really care about instead of making small talk that an entire
group can contribute to.
4. We suck at
responding to texts
because sometimes we don’t want to talk – to anyone.
It’s not that we hate people or that we’re annoyed.
Sometimes we’ve just been around people
so much that we’re exhausted from talking and texting and
Skyping
and we just don’t want to talk. We’re totally open to
hanging out in person;
just don’t expect us to talk too much when we’re in one
of these moods.
5. We’re open to
meeting your other friends.
Just let us know ahead of time that we’ll be meeting new
people
so we can mentally prepare ourselves to socialize.
We’re not closed off to meeting new people; it’s just a
very exhausting thing to do.
So we literally have to prepare ourselves to socialize.
We have to get into the mindset of, “Okay, I’m going to
be talking a lot.”
6. Despite needing
our alone time, we do get lonely.
It’s difficult to balance between alone time and not
feeling lonely. Often we’ll want to go out because we feel alone, but our
apartment is so comfortable that we won’t want to leave.
7. It’s hard to
get us out, but we’ll have a great time when we go out.
Sometimes we’ll require some coercing to get us out of
the house.
Again, it’s not that we don’t want to go out, we just
start thinking,
“What if it’s not fun? I could totally be reading my
book. What if the tickets are sold out?
What if they don’t actually want me to go and
they’re just inviting me to be nice?
We begin to draw into our own heads and make
up things that could go wrong
and use them as excuses to not go out.
8. We’ll happily
chat up your parents/friends/girlfriend/boyfriend/boss/etc.,
but once it’s over, we require silence.
After so much talking, we really need to recharge.
9. We’re not
always the most talkative person in a group,
but if someone is in need of a social life jacket, we can
step up and offer that.
Again, we’ll happily chat someone up if the situation
arises.
We get that conversation can be uncomfortable, so if we
see someone who is worse than us
at holding a conversation, then we’ll take the initiative
to make them feel more comfortable.
10. We won’t
plan a party, but if we do, it’s a really big deal for us.
We can’t imagine hosting an event solely for our own
sake. We don’t even think people
would want to come to a party that we host. So if we do
host something, it’s a big deal for us.
11. We live in our
heads even if it seems like we put ourselves out there.
Even when we’re being outgoing, our thoughts are still
running and analyzing the situation.
12. Because we can
be outgoing and calculated at the same time,
sometimes we end up being leaders.
But that does not mean we want praise, nor do we want to
talk about how great we are.
People seem to think that we’re fit to be leaders.
We can stand up and talk in front of crowds when we need
to.
We can make decisions when we need to. But we often
analyze ourselves and don’t think
highly of our skill sets. Sometimes we don’t believe
we’re good enough to lead.
We always think we can be better so praise often makes us
cringe.
13. We bounce
between wanting to be noticed for our hard work to panicking
over the thought of somebody else paying more
than 30 seconds of attention to us.
Sometimes we want attention, other times it’s hard to
believe anyone
would spend more than 10 seconds on us.
14. People think
we’re flirtatious. We’re not.
We understand that interacting with people is a necessary
part of life.
So we make an effort to do it intentionally, and
genuinely want people to know
that they have our undivided interest and attention.
15. We get mad at
ourselves for wanting to stay in and letting our friends down.
Which is why we sometimes force ourselves to go out.
To let our friends know that we enjoy spending time with
them, not because we want to be out.
16. We’re at your
happiest in places like coffee shops and cafés:
surrounded by people,
but still closed off and keeping to yourself.
We just like being around people, even if they’re
strangers.
It’s the compromise of being around people but not having
to talk to them.
17. We have a
constant inner struggle of controlling our introverted side.
It’s frustrating because we’ll realize when we start
withdrawing into our own minds
and become extremely introspective. It happens when we’re
in really big crowds.
And the only thought is, “Oh no, it’s happening. No. I
have to talk to someone now.
But it’s so difficult. No. Yes, you have to talk or else
you’re going to end up in your head
for the rest of the night.”
18. We really
don’t like small talk.
We’d avoid small talk if we could. We want to
really get to know you.
We want to know what you think about, what your goals
are, what your family is like.
We don’t want to talk about how bad the weather is.
But if that’s what you’re comfortable talking about, then
we’ll talk about it.
19. We don’t
actually have a staple “group” of friends.
We often pick and choose one or two individuals from
different social groups
that make up our closest friends.
But we make this handful of best friends our life
and we’d do anything for them.
20. If we like
you, we really like you.
We’re extremely picky about who we spend our time and
energy on.
If we’ve hung out multiple times, take it as a
compliment.
Seriously. If it’s such a struggle to talk to people and
if we get so exhausting going out,
it’s a big deal if we’re willing to spend our time
and energy with you.
It isn’t to say that we’re full of ourselves.
We just wouldn’t want to spend that energy with
people whose company we don’t enjoy.
M’reen, Oh, so I’m and introvert who’s really outgoing
and confident. J
http://www.lifehack.org/297304/19-real-life-examples-extroverted-introvert-you-dont-get-confused
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