Beech nut cases contain 3 seeds to help ensure success.
9 Things You Need To Stop
Doing If You Want To Be Successful
Emina Dedic
Earl Nightingale, American
motivational speaker and author, once said,
“We become what we think
about.” Perhaps truer words have never been spoken.
The human mind is an
incredible thing, and having the right attitude and mindset
has routinely been stated by
numerous successful people as being a pivotal key to success. Sometimes,
however, it is easy to get side-tracked. Situations in life can get
in the way
of our goals, self-esteem, and personal well-being. Truthfully,
success is a subjective term,
and everyone will disagree
over what constitutes being successful. Here is a list of guidelines, however,
of some things to stop doing if you want to be or feel successful.
1. Stop Expecting
Perfection
Often, we get frustrated when
things don’t work out the way we want them to,
or as quickly as we’d like
them to. We stress over small details, or beat ourselves up
for getting one thing wrong,
or forgetting to dot one I or cross one T. People are fallible.
Mistakes and drawbacks are a
fact of life. Nothing is nor will it ever be perfect, and that’s okay.
Stressing out over minute
details or things that would have been impossible to get to
is unproductive and
unhealthy. Start saying that you will do your personal best,
because at the end of the
day, you’re not in competition with anyone but yourself.
Example: Jennifer Lawrence is
someone who everyone seems to be talking about right now,
but did you know she was
rejected for the role of Bella
Swan in ‘Twilight‘? She also didn’t take theatre classes. She just trusted
her instincts and worked as hard as possible to land acting roles. Obviously,
she wasn’t perfect for every role, but she didn’t expect perfection.
She takes her failures and
rejections well, trying to learn from each situation.
2. Stop Saying Yes When
You Want to Say No
It’s always important to know
your limits, and people will always try to test them.
Human beings are social
animals. We want to interact with others and feel like we are
a part of something or like
we are special to someone else. People also, for the most part,
like to please others.
Sometimes, however, it’s easy to be taken advantage of.
Whether it’s helping a
co-worker with something when you can’t really afford to,
or loaning a friend money you
can’t really afford to give.
Out of guilt, people often
say yes to people and situations that they really should say no to.
Don’t be afraid to trust your
gut and say no. Sometimes you can’t stay a few hours later
because you had other plans
or important errands to run.
Sometimes it’s okay to say no to that co-worker that keeps
nagging you for help
but is really just
stalling because they don’t want to work and know you’ll help them.
Sometimes it’s okay
to prioritize other things over work.
Saying no is healthy.
Saying
no means that you know your boundaries and can demand respect.
Example: Margaret Thatcher is
known as being tough. She was a powerful politician.
She also knew during her
career when she had to take a
stand,
and sometimes that stand
meant saying no to bad political and economic policy.
3. Stop Negative
Self-Dialogue
We all can probably play back
in our minds every negative or embarrassing thing
we’ve ever done to ourselves,
been subjected to, or done to someone else.
Whether it’s tripping over
one’s shoelaces in the fourth grade, or being fired from a job,
wronging someone else, or
overhearing someone speaking negatively about us,
those thoughts are forever
solidified in our minds.
Replaying those thoughts,
however, and constantly punishing oneself for past mistakes,
is counterproductive at
certain points. At some point, it’s more important to learn from situations and
move on, instead of psychologically beating yourself up.
The next time you find
yourself saying, “I’m not pretty enough”, “I did this horrible thing once
five years ago and I’ll never
forgive myself”, or any type of statement along those lines,
turn off that negative
self-dialogue. Look in the mirror and say something kind to yourself.
Read some inspirational
quotes. Acknowledge that you are taking steps and making an effort
to be a better person. Admit
to yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and most importantly,
that making mistakes is okay.
Example: This
article does a good job of listing Steve Job’s failures. We remember
him anyway,
and we remember him as a
pioneer and someone who didn’t give up.
When things go wrong, and they often do,
it’s easy
for us to remember every mistake we have ever made along the way.
Sometimes it’s easy to lose
sight of our goals because of that lack of confidence.
Don’t give up and attempt to
stay positive. Train your brain to think of things in a new,
more positive way. Most of
all, keep working hard. Failure doesn’t have to be permanent.
4. Stop Focusing On Just
Today
Successful people tend to
understand the value of a good plan.
They plan out their day,
their goals, a budget and they plan how much to save for retirement.
That doesn’t mean they don’t
have fun, though. They most certainly do!
They just make sure to plan
when it is appropriate and inappropriate to have fun.
They make time for
productivity and fun, but still save and think about the future.
So, stop just focusing on
today and having fun. Think about where you want to be in five,
10 or 15 years down the road!
Having a good focus aids in success!
Example: Neil deGrasse Tyson has been in
love with the universe and science
since he was nine years old.
Because of that love, he worked long-term to study
the things he cared about. He was
accepted into Harvard where he majored in physics,
eventually moving on to
advanced education.
His list of accomplishments
would take up another full article in and of itself.
5. Stop Ignoring Your
Goals
Stop believing things will
just work out for you because you’re a good person.
Good things only happen to
people who make an effort.
A part of making an effort is
setting goals for oneself. As evidenced in the previous point,
it’s not enough to just focus
on the day at hand. It’s important to manage time and set short-term and
long-term goals in order to be able to track progress and have something to
strive for.
Example: Alan Turing is considered the
father of artificial intelligence and computers.
He also broke the code to the
Nazi encryption machine called Enigma.
He faced many challenges
along the way, such as the inability to identify with others
and being charged with
indecency, for which he was eventually pardoned.
Despite his personal
struggles, though, he managed to break the code for Enigma,
saving approximately 14
million people from death and in turn helped end World War 2.
6. Stop Isolating People
Successful people understand
that not everything is about work, church
or similar
obligations. Some things are about family, relaxation, and hobbies.
It’s easy to get the
impression that everyone who feels or defines themselves as successful probably
has no spare time on their hands, and in some cases, that’s true.
However, it isn’t always. Social isolation can kill people. In
fact, many successful people
have mastered the art of
balance. They don’t isolate the people they love
because they have large goals
or something they want to accomplish.
Instead, they
incorporate those they love into their goals and hobbies.
Example: According to a
recent Forbes article, many
leaders feel lonely.
However, here are 25 examples of social business leaders who
seem to thrive on relationships.
It’s okay to know how to work
alone and prefer that,
but it’s also important to be
able to rely on your staff, friends, and family for support.
Involving people in
leadership or product processes makes them feel valued
and provides valuable
feedback. Successful people enjoy that relationship.
They also enjoy their time
away from their goals and work to spend time with their loved ones.
7. Stop Comparing Yourself
To Everyone Else
Successful people understand
that the only person they can compete with today is the person they were
yesterday. They are too focused on themselves and their goals to worry about
anyone else. They don’t want to compare themselves to others because it’s
counterproductive.
However, they do analyze
where they have weak points
and are able to genuinely
admire people who have mastered things they have not.
There is no use to comparing
yourself to someone else. It’s counterproductive
and harmful to your
self-esteem. It also helps to harbor negative self-dialogue.
Example: Taylor Swift is one of the most
successful recording artists of our time,
but before that, she was a
struggling musician in Nashville playing at small venues
and coffee shops. She
would turn in demos to various studios, covering a variety of songs.
It was only when she started
playing and writing her own music that she got noticed
and became the celebrity
she is today. She faced a lot of adversity as well.
There were people who doubted
her skills and told her she couldn’t sing.
Her confidence and faith in
herself overcame that.
8. Stop Living In The Past
Successful people learn from
their failures, but they do not live in the past.
They take the skills and
lessons they acquired from their failures and apply them to the present
and future. Don’t live in your own personal past. Don’t
define yourself by who you were.
Define yourself by who you
are today and by who you’re working toward becoming.
Example: Would we even remember Thomas Edison
if he gave up on his ideas
before becoming successful? Can
you imagine simply focusing on what happened yesterday?
So what if yesterday was a
failure? Try again! Failure teaches us about what doesn’t work,
and helps us get closer to a
process that does work. Choose your attitude and control it.
Move forward. Remember, failure is feedback.
9. Stop Tolerating
Dishonest People
Successful people appreciate
other people for their unique traits and gifts. They do not attempt
to harm, belittle, or in any
way demean others for their own successes or ideas.
They are open to
relationships with others, but know when to cut the cord, so to speak.
People can be too forgiving
when it comes to being wronged, and it’s important to know
one’s limits. Successful
people do not tolerate negative and dishonest people,
because they are too busy
loving honest, sincere people.
Example: Everyone. We have
all had frenemies.
We have all invested in people who did not return our
investment in them.
Successful people know how to weed these dishonest people
out.
No one wants unneeded
negativity around themselves or around the people they love.
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To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more
things you will know.
The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”
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