Fuller's teasel was
widely used to provide a natural comb for cleaning, aligning and raising
the nap on fabrics, particularly wool. It differs from the wild
type in having stouter, somewhat recurved spines on the seed heads. The dried
flower heads were attached to spindles, wheels, or
cylinders, sometimes called teasel frames, to raise the nap on fabrics (that
is, to tease the fibres).
13 things mentally
strong people don't do
Steven Benna
Mental strength isn't often reflected in what you do.
It's usually seen in what you don't do.
In her book, "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't
Do," author Amy Morin writes
that developing mental strength is a "three-pronged
approach."
It's about controlling your thoughts,
behaviors, and emotions.
Here are 13 things mentally strong people do not do,
according to Morin:
1. They don't
waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
"Feeling sorry for yourself is
self-destructive," she writes.
"Indulging in self-pity hinders living a full
life."
It wastes time, creates negative emotions, and hurts
your relationships.
The key is to "affirm the good in the world,
and you will begin to appreciate what you have," Morin writes. The goal is
to swap self-pity with gratitude.
2. They don't give
away their power.
People give away their power when they lack physical and
emotional boundaries, Morin writes. You need to stand up for yourself and draw
the line when necessary.
If other people are in control of your actions, they
define your success and self-worth.
It's important that you keep track of your goals and
work towards them.
Morin uses Oprah Winfrey as an example of someone with a
strong grip on their power.
Winfrey grew up dealing with poverty and sexual
abuse, but "she chose to define
who she was going to be in life by not giving away her
power," she says.
3. They don't shy
away from change.
There are five stages of change, Morin writes:
pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action,
and maintenance.
Following through with each of the five steps is crucial.
Making changes can be frightening, but shying away from
them prevents growth.
"The longer you wait, the harder it gets," she
says, and "other people will outgrow you."
4. They don't
focus on things they can't control.
William Morrow Take back your power, embrace change, face
your fears,
and train your brain for happiness and success.
"It feels so safe to have everything under control,
but thinking we have the power
to always pull the strings can become problematic,"
Morin writes.
Trying to be in control of everything is likely a
response to anxiety. "Rather than focusing on managing your anxiety, you
try controlling your environment," she says.
Shifting your focus off the things you can't control can
create increased happiness, less stress, better relationships, new
opportunities, and more success, Morin writes.
5. They don't
worry about pleasing everyone.
Oftentimes, we judge ourselves by considering what other
people think of us,
which is the opposite of mental toughness.
Morin lists four facts about constantly trying to be a
people-pleaser:
It's a waste of time; people-pleasers are easily
manipulated;
it's OK for others to feel angry or disappointed;
and you can't please everyone.
Dropping your people-pleasing mindset will make you
stronger and more self-confident.
6. They don't fear
taking calculated risks.
People are often afraid to take risks, whether it's
financial, physical, emotional, social,
or business-related, Morin writes. But it comes down to
knowledge.
"A lack of knowledge about how to calculate risk
leads to increased fear," Morin writes.
To better analyze a risk, ask yourself the following
questions:
What are the potential costs?
What are the potential benefits?
How will this help me achieve my goal?
What are the alternatives?
How good would it be if the best-case scenario came true?
What is the worst thing that could happen, and how could
I reduce the risk it will occur?
How bad would it be if the worst-case scenario did come
true?
How much will this decision matter in five years?
7. They don't
dwell on the past.
The past is in the past. There's no way to change what
happened,
and "dwelling can be self-destructive, preventing
you from enjoying the present
and planning for the future," Morin writes.
It doesn't solve anything and can lead to
depression, she writes.
There can be a benefit to thinking about the past,
though.
Reflecting on the lessons
learned, considering the facts rather than the emotions,
and looking at a situation from a new
perspective can be helpful, she says.
8. They don't make
the same mistakes over and over.
Reflecting can ensure you don't repeat your mistakes.
It's important to study what went wrong, what you could have done better,
and how to do it differently next time, Morin writes.
Mentally strong people accept responsibility for the
mistake and create a thoughtful,
written plan to avoid making the same mistake in the
future.
9. They don't
resent other people's success.
Resentment is like anger that remains hidden
and bottled up, Morin writes.
Focusing on another person's success will not pave the
way to your own,
since it distracts you from your path, Morin writes.
Even if you become successful,
you may never be content if you're always focusing on
others.
You may also overlook your talents and abandon your
values and relationships, she says.
10. They don't
give up after the first failure.
Success isn't immediate, and failure is almost always an
obstacle you will have to overcome. "Take, for example, Theodor Giesel —
also known as Dr. Seuss — whose first book was rejected by more than 20
publishers," Morin writes. And now Dr. Seuss is a household name.
Thinking that failure is unacceptable or that it means
you aren't good enough does not reflect mental strength. In fact,
"bouncing back after failure will make you stronger," Morin writes.
11. They don't
fear alone time.
"Creating time to be alone with your thoughts can be
a powerful experience,
instrumental in helping you reach your goals," Morin
writes. Becoming mentally strong
"requires you to take time out from the busyness of
daily life to focus on growth."
Here are some of the benefits of solitude Morin lists in
her book:
Solitude at the office can increase productivity.
Alone time may increase your empathy.
Spending time alone sparks creativity.
Solitary skills are good for mental health.
Solitude offers restoration.
12. They don't
feel the world owes them anything.
It's easy to get angry at the world for your
failures or lack of success,
but the truth is no one is entitled to anything. It must
be earned.
"Life isn't meant to be fair," Morin writes.
If some people experience more happiness or success
than others,
"that's life — but it doesn't mean you're
owed anything if you were dealt a bad hand."
The key is to focus on your efforts, accept
criticism, acknowledge your flaws,
and don't keep score, Morin writes. Comparing yourself to
others will only set you up
for disappointment if you don't receive what you think
you're owed, she says.
13. They don't
expect immediate results.
"A willingness to develop realistic expectations and
an understanding that success
doesn't happen overnight is necessary if you want to
reach your full potential," Morin writes.
Mentally weak people are often impatient. They
overestimate their abilities
and underestimate how long change takes, she says, so
they expect immediate results.
It's important to "keep your eyes on the prize"
and relentlessly work towards
your long-term goals. There will be failures along the
way,
but if you measure your progress and look at the big
picture, success will become attainable.
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To quote the
Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.
The more
that you learn; the more places you'll go.”
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