Walk through the appropriate door for yourself.
But walk through.
Interview and Book Giveaway: 10 Habits of Truly
Optimistic People
Lori Deschene
I have a confession to make—I sometimes cringe when
someone tells me to “just be positive.”
I’ve often assumed this really means,
“Your sadness is making me uncomfortable, so please stop
talking about it.”
To be fair, I wouldn’t classify myself as a negative
person—not now, anyways
—though I have my moments. I do, however, feel for anyone
who might be classified that way,
as I know from experience that deep negativity often
comes from deep pain.
We all face our own battles in life, some more
overwhelming than others.
And sometimes it seems nearly impossible to nurture a
positive attitude.
But it is possible.
And sometimes, it’s the only thing that keeps us going
when it seems unlikely we’ll find our way through the
darkness.
Optimism is a powerful thing. When you’re optimistic, you don’t deny
that
you’re going through a hard time. You don’t suppress your feelings or
pretend you’re happy.
You simply believe that something good could come from your struggles
—even if you can’t yet fathom what that might be.
You believe that life is happening for you,
not to you,
and that you’re not a victim
but rather someone with immense potential to overcome
your odds and thrive.
Because you believe, you’re able to keep moving
forward—learning, growing,
and making the best of your circumstances—when it would
be easier to give up.
I’m always inspired to read stories from people
who’ve found silver linings in tragedy
because it reminds me that we have immense power to shape
our lives
through our perceptions and responses.
This is what brought me to Dave Mezzapelle’s new book 10 Habits of Truly Optimistic People.
Dave’s on a mission to get people to “power their lives
with the positive.”
In this follow-up to his bestselling book Contagious
Optimism,
he’s collected more than 100 stories from amazingly
resilient individuals,
and compiled them into 10 chapters based on—you guessed it—the
habits of optimistic people.
1. Tell us a little bit about yourself and what inspired you to
create this series.
I have always been a positive, upbeat person and very
optimistic.
And, I always made it a point to find the bright side of
a problem,
which I found made it easier to surmount. In addition, I
have always loved people’s stories.
Over the course of the past twenty years, my alma mater,
Fairfield University in Connecticut,
had suggested that I write a book on optimism in
business.
This was based on the way I ran my company for seventeen
years.
I didn’t have an interest in writing something like this
until 2010.
I literally woke up one day and said, “I will do it.
But let’s not just make it about me.
Let’s make it about lots of people.
And let’s not just make it about business.
Instead, let’s make it about many of life’s themes
including business.”
2. What have you learned about the benefits of optimism?
After spending years collecting silver lining stories
from around the globe,
one of the most powerful facts I learned is that being a
positive,
optimistic person not only allows people to achieve
greatness,
but it has numerous mental and physical benefits as well.
From a biological standpoint, we benefit from the release
of neurotransmitters
such as serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine when we are
happy, positive, and optimistic.
Mentally, we find ourselves in a good place that makes
everything else seem easier
(or at least less difficult for those that are going
through tough times).
People have nothing to lose from being positive versus
the stress they definitely gain
from being negative. Don’t run away from obstacles and
adversity
but be positive in your ability to address and surmount
them.
And when we are feeling good about ourselves and
optimistic about our future,
we tend to look better as well. Our skin tone, our
posture, and our confidence all shine.
And, even our physique improves when we combine optimism
with a workout or exercise schedule.
3. The book features more than 100 true stories from people
who’ve learned the power of optimism. I’m sure you found all of them
inspiring
in different ways, but is there one that really stuck with you—and why?
They all have affected me. In addition to the 100 stories
you referenced in this book,
we have thousands in our essay bank for future volumes.
It has been nothing shy of awesome being able to read
these stories
and learn about these people.
What sticks with me is not one particular story but the
fact that everyone has a silver lining story
to share. However, I will share an amazing story about
Yvette Pegues.
Yvette was an employee of IBM in their global patent
office. She traveled the world
and knew many languages. She also has two young boys and
a terrific husband.
One day Yvette had terrible headaches and was rushed to
the hospital
to find that she had a genetic brain malformation. They
performed emergency surgery,
which caused a brain stem stroke that left her in a
wheelchair for life.
Instead of letting this bring her down, she was a first responder
to the earthquake in Haiti
(the same year of her stroke—2010). She also competed in
and won Miss Wheelchair Georgia and, in 2014, Miss Wheelchair USA where I was the keynote
speaker.
Today, Yvette has devoted her life to helping children
worldwide improve their literacy skills.
4. In one of your previous interviews, you talked about the steps you
believe
people should follow to help them embrace optimism when facing hurdles,
with the acronym “GSM.” Can you tell us more about those three steps?
GSM stands for Gratitude, Stories, and Magnet.
Gratitude—you need to be grateful for even the smallest
things in life.
This can be something simple like the sunrise, a glass of
water, your pet,
or the smell of the ocean. Simple gratitude makes everything
feel special, big or small.
Stories—When people are going through tough times, they
tend to think that they’re alone. However, when they hear or read stories of
how others have persevered, it gives them hope.
And, hope is that important foundation of optimism.
Magnet—“Optimism is a happiness magnet.” ~Mary Lou
Retton. I love this quote.
You want to surround yourself with good, uplifting
people. Their happiness and positive attitude
is certainly contagious. It brings you up and adds light
to your day.
But, conversely, sometimes it’s difficult to avoid the
negative people, the naysayers,
and the cynics. Unfortunately, their negativity
is contagious as well.
They may be in your office, your classroom, or your
apartment.
In those cases, just ignore their chatter and simply
tolerate them. It doesn’t mean you need to absorb their energy. Don’t take
their negative opinions to heart and don’t let them influence you.
5. Conventional wisdom about becoming more positive suggests
we should avoid “negative people,” but in my experience, “negative
people” often need
our love and support the most. Have you learned anything that can help
us
find a middle ground so that we’re minimizing the negative effects of
spending time
with pessimists, but not just writing them off so that we may actually
be able to help them?
Yes. We never suggest ignoring or isolating
pessimists.
We just assert that what others do or say is a reflection of their own reality,
so don’t take it
personally and don’t let it bring you down.
Some people are just naturally pessimistic and it is not
our job to change them
but at least being a ray of sunshine around them can
bring them light
without allowing their nature to pull us down.
I believe that true success in everything comes from
combining effort, reality,
and positive thinking. Optimism alone will keep you
in the clouds.
And oftentimes reality alone will prevent you from
getting passed first base.
However, when you combine all three, things happen in a
big way! And this is based
on our extensive experience of interviewing people and
capturing their silver lining stories.
6. What do you believe is the biggest obstacle to optimism,
and what’s one thing we can do to overcome it?
Outside influences are the #1 obstacle. This can be a
negative friend, family member,
co-worker or boss, or even the media. An outside
influence can reduce or eliminate optimism.
The best way to overcome it is to make it a point to
minimize your exposure to the naysayers
and cynics. In addition to watching or reading the news,
try to follow positive stories and positive programming
as well.
Look in the mirror and remember that what others do or
say is a reflection of their own self,
not a reflection of you.
Don Miguel Ruiz, in his book The Four
Agreements, asserts, “Don’t take anything personally.
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and
do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune
to the opinions and actions of others,
you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”
Conversely, appreciating those around you that appreciate
who you are and what you stand for
is tantamount for your own optimism and for making it
contagious for others.
7. Of the ten habits shared in the book, which do you think is the most
difficult to form,
and what’s one simple practice anyone can use to begin cultivating it
today?
Everyone is different so this is a difficult question.
For example, some people struggle with embracing change
(chapter one).
Others have a difficult time appreciating those around
them (chapter two).
And, I have also noticed that many people do not believe
in themselves
and the value they possess (chapter five).
So, in my opinion, the one simple practice is to take a
deep breath and concentrate on the fact
that others have had it so much worse and have made it
through.
And, the best way to prove that to yourself is to either
read books like Contagious Optimism
and Chicken Soup For the Soul and/or
connect with others that have been in the same boat.
It is very powerful to learn about the patience,
persistence, and perseverance of others.
8. What’s the main message that you hope readers take from this book?
We all have stories. What you think may be boring or
uneventful is actually inspirational
and motivational to others around the globe.
So,
considering sharing your stories and remember,
we are all naturally mentors just by the sheer impression
of our footsteps.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/interview-and-book-giveaway-10-habits-of-truly-optimistic-people/
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