"I completely agree with Leo and should you feel that you
are being held back with these ideals
to work towards then perhaps you’ll find my sister blog www.innermindreading.blogspot.co.uk
to be helpful or to re-read many of the articles below. I
think that each point is worth far more than
a single read through and might be
printed and ‘meditated’ on or thought about during your day." M'reen
HOW
TO BE A SUCCESS AT EVERYTHING
12 TOOLS FOR MORE MINDFUL LIVING
LIVING A MORE MINDFUL LIFE IS
WORTH THE EFFORT, BUT REMEMBERING TO FOCUS AND KEEP YOUR MIND IN THE MOMENT IS
DIFFICULT.
HERE IS A TOOLSET DESIGNED TO
HELP YOU ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS.
LEO BABAUTA
The focus of my life in recent months has been living mindfully,
and while I don’t always remember
to do that, I have learned a few things worth
sharing.
The first is a mindful life
is worth the effort. It’s a life where we awaken from the dream state
we’re
most often submerged in--the state of having your mind anywhere but the present
moment,
locked in thoughts about what
you’re going to do later, about something someone else said,
about something you’re
stressing about or angry about. The state of mind where we’re lost
in our smartphones and social
media.
It’s worth the effort,
because being awake means we’re not missing life as we walk through it.
Being awake means we’re conscious
of what’s going on inside us, as it happens, and so can make more conscious
choices rather than acting on our impulses all the time.
The second thing I’ve learned
is that we forget. We forget, over and over, to be awake.
And that’s okay. Being
mindful is a process of forgetting, and then remembering.
Repeatedly. Just as breathing
is a process of exhaling, and then inhaling, repeatedly.
The third is that mindful
living isn’t just one thing. It’s not just meditation. Nor is it just focusing
on the sensations around you,
right now in this moment. I’ve found mindful living to be a set
of very related tools, perhaps
all different ways of getting at the same thing, but each
useful in its own
regard.
1. Meditation.
Meditation is where mindful living
starts. And it’s not complicated:
you can sit still
for even just one minute a
day to start with (work up to three to five minutes after a week),
and turn your attention to
your body and then your breath. Notice when your thoughts wander
from your breath, and gently
return to the breath. Repeat until the minute is up.
2. Be Awake.
Meditation is practice for being awake, which is
not being in the dream state (mind wandering
into a train of thought, getting
lost in the online world, thinking about past offenses, stressing about the
future, etc.) but being awake to the present, to what is. Being awake is
something you can do throughout the day, all the time, if you remember.
Remembering is the trick.
3. Watch Urges.
When I quit smoking in 2005, the most useful tool I
learned was watching my urges to smoke.
I would sit there and watch the urge
rise and fall, until it was gone, without acting on it.
It taught me that I am not my
urges, that I don’t have to act on my urges, and this helped me change all my
other habits. Watch your urge to check email or social media, to eat something
sweet or fried, to drink alcohol, to watch TV, to be distracted, to
procrastinate. These urges will come and go,
and you don’t have to act on
them.
4. Watch Ideals.
We all have ideals, all the time. We have an ideal
that our day will go perfectly, that people will be kind and respectful to us;
that we will be perfect, that we’ll ace an exam or important meeting,
that
we’ll never fail. Of course, we know from experience that those ideals are not
real, that they don’t come true, that they aren’t realistic. But we still have
them, and they cause our stress and fears
and grief over something/someone
we’ve lost. By letting go of ideals, we can
let go of our suffering.
5. Accept People and Life
As They Are.
When
I stopped trying to change a loved one, and accepted him for who he was, I was able to just be with him and enjoy my time with
him. This acceptance has the same effect for anything you do--accept a
co-worker, a child, a spouse, but also accept a “bad” situation, an unpleasant
feeling;
an annoying sound. When we stop trying to fight the way things are,
when we accept what is,
we are much more at peace.
6. Let Go of Expectations.
This is really the same thing as the previous two
items, but I’ve found it useful nonetheless.
It’s useful to watch your
expectations with an upcoming situation, with a new project or business,
and
see that it’s not real and that it’s causing you stress and disappointment.
We cause our own pain, and we
can relieve it by letting go of the expectations that are causing it.
Toss
your expectations into the ocean.
7. Become okay with
Discomfort.
The fear of discomfort is huge--it causes people to be stuck in their old bad habits, to
not start the business they want to start, to be stuck in a job they don’t
really like, because we tend to stick to the known and comfortable rather than
try something unknown and uncomfortable. It’s why many people don’t eat
vegetables or exercise, why they eat junk, why they don’t start something new.
But we can be okay with discomfort, with practice.
Start with things that are a
little uncomfortable, and keep expanding your comfort zone.
8. Watch Your Resistance.
When you try to do something uncomfortable, or try
to give up something you like or are used to, you’ll find resistance. But you
can just watch the resistance, and be curious about it. Watch your resistance to things that annoy you--a loud sound that interrupts
your concentration, for example.
It’s not the sound that’s the problem; it’s
your resistance to the sound. The same is true of resistance to food we don’t
like, to being too cold or hot, to being hungry. The problem isn’t the
sensation of the food, cold, heat or hunger--it’s our resistance to them. Watch
the resistance, and feel it melt.
This resistance, by the way, is why I’m doing
my Year of Living Without.
9. Be Curious.
Too often we are stuck in our ways, and think we know how
things should be, how people are.
Instead, be
curious. Find out. Experiment. Let go of what you think you know.
When you start a new project
or venture, if you feel the fear of failure, instead of thinking,
“Oh no, I’m going to fail” or
“Oh no, I don’t know how this will turn out”, try thinking, “Let’s see.
Let’s
find out.” And then there isn’t the fear of failure, but the joy of being
curious and finding out.
Learn to be okay with not knowing.
10. Be Grateful.
We complain about everything. But life is a
miracle. Find something to be grateful about in everything you do. Be grateful
when you’re doing a new habit, and you’ll stick to it longer. Be grateful when
you’re with someone, and you’ll be happier with them. Life is amazing, if you learn
to appreciate it.
11. Let Go of Control.
We often think we control things, but that’s only
an illusion. Our obsession with organization and goals and productivity, for
example, are rooted in the illusion that we can control life. But life is
uncontrollable, and just when we think we have things under control, something
unexpected comes up to disrupt everything. And then we’re frustrated because
things didn’t go the way we wanted. Instead, practice letting
go of control, and learn to flow.
12. Be Compassionate.
This sounds trite, but compassion for others can
change the way you feel about the world,
on a day-to-day basis. And compassion for yourself is
life-changing.
These two things need
remembering, though, so mindful living is about remembering
to be compassionate after you
forget.
That seems like a lot to
digest and remember, and I often forget all of this stuff,
but then I remember,
and say, “Ah, I was doing it again!” And then I practice again.
And then I forget, but I
reflect, and I learn, and I practice again.
This is the process of
learning mindfulness. It’s forgetting, and then remembering, again and again.
http://www.fastcompany.com/3023459/how-to-be-a-success-at-everything/12-tools-for-more-mindful-living
Perhaps you’d like to checkout my sister blog www.innermindreading.blogspot.com
and find easy, fast and efficient ways of working with
the issues or little unpleasantness’s in your life.
I am now featuring aspects of my upcoming internet
programme to teach Inner Mind
Reading.
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