6 things to know about being STUMPED

I'm not a dandelion, I'm nipplewort.

6 things to know about being STUMPED

The other day I came home to find the men who hired to build my patio sitting in my backyard looking at a stump. This was not a normal stump. 

This was a giant, Paul Bunyan, Big John stump.

I sat down with them and I, too, considered the stump.

"George had to get his chain saw for that sucker," one of them finally said.

"Took two hours to get it out," another offered.

"I think it broke George's saw," the first chimed in.

"Why didn't you leave it in the ground," I asked. "You know, pour the cement around it?"

"We thought about it," the third said. "It wouldn't have been right."

They told me that they had managed to cut it up into the piece we were looking at

but that it had been twice as big and buried deep in the ground; a remnant of a primordial tree. Their task had been Herculean. They told me that if they poured the cement over the stump,

the darn thing could rot and my steps would fall in, and I would be upset with them

because they poured cement over a stump the size of San Francisco.

"It looks petrified," I said. "How many years do you think it would take to rot?"

The first guy shrugged, "Twenty. Thirty years."

I shrugged back. I would probably be dead by the time the stump rotted and my stairs fell in.

I guess it was the principal of the thing.

They would have known the stump was there and that leaving it was not professional.

We sat in the hot sun a while longer. Someone suggested carving the stump

into the likeness of the contractor. I liked that idea, but no one knew how to carve.

I thought we could make it into a table. Nobody wanted to level the top so I could put glass on it. Eventually, we all stopped looking at the stump.

The men moved it out of the way and started work again; I went inside to make dinner.

That stump has now been in my backyard for two weeks. I can't bring myself to get rid of it.

Like all things that are hard to get rid of, my stump eventually served a purpose. 

It taught me that:

1)  Everybody has a stump. It might be in your real backyard,

your professional backyard or your personal backyard, but it is undoubtedly there.

2) What you do with your stump will tell you a lot about yourself. 

Either you will dig it up and deal with it, or you will leave it to rot. 

If you leave it to rot your foundation will eventually collapse.

3) If you're stumped and need help, there is always someone willing to work hard

with you to take care of it as long as you work as hard as they do.

4) You can never go through a stump but that is not reason to panic.

You can go around them, over them and sometimes even under them. Under takes the longest.

5) Sometimes stumps are not as big as they look and sometimes they are bigger.

Size doesn't matter. Stumped is stumped.

6) Removing a stump but choosing to keep it as a reminder of what stood in your way

is a good thing. When you look at it you will always know that when it came to

you against the stump, you won. 

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/6-things-know-being-stumped-rebecca-forster

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To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”

Does Waterboarding Get You More Love? Over-react?

Wet is healthy.

Does Waterboarding Get You More Love?

The following is a guest post from Christine Rich Hanson.

You’re minding your business you were handed at birth, aka your life.

All is well.

It’s a normal day.

No S.W.A.T. guys rappelling down your building telling you there’s a terrorist on the 5^th floor

and to go with them out the window from your 20^th floor.

Just a regular day of getting by, mixed with the usual subconscious desires 

to be understood and loved by other fellow souls in human form.

Then, from nowhere…

Incoming Attack!

Your eyes bulge forward and you feel the searing pain of the gut punch, as you read a horrific, angst-provoking, off-base attack message delivered by electronic form.

Text, email—because nobody actually says these things in 2015 with their vocal cords

when they have the option to blast from a keyboard—

and you find yourself reeling backwards in your chair.

You’ve assumed the waterboarding position.

The waves from the rush of fear and mind-scrambling, “How could they say that?

That was so mean! What were they thinking? I’m not like that!” washes and flows over you

so rapidly you feel gasping…for air and for the reason for this missile of hate.

You pace, you cover your mouth so the gasps of what you want to say don’t come out,

your mind seeks permission to begin the sequence launch for the retaliation fighter jets

to destroy the author of the message.

But wait.

The message was from your significant other.

Your finger(s) hover over the keyboard.

A few strokes and you could take them out…AND TEACH THEM A LESSON NOT TO EVER, EVER, IN THE NEXT 10 DECADES, WILL THEY EVER DO THAT TO YOU AGAIN!

*shoving a table over mentally for emphasis*

*and kicking through a window mentally because the table wasn’t enough*

*and isn’t that a cat you spot who needs kicking too?*

Note: No cats were harmed during the writing of this post, and cat kicking is not condoned.

A little voice within says “Calm down; you are creating attachment to chaotic mind thoughts, and meditating would help”.

Uh, yeah, NOT NOW!

It’s easier, not fruitful, but easier to focus on a quick round of some “How dare they?”

hi-fives with the Righteous Union sitting outside your heart and some “

Why ME?” slap-on-the-backs from the Pity Brigade—

also sitting on the curb outside of your heart.

Outside of the Heart

Yep, that’s where you can roll around in the distraction mud of stinky yuck

and the suction of your indignation while you figure out how you will retaliate.

Sort of feels good like eating your way through the county fair with wild abandon

until you puke on the Ferris wheel.

You faintly hear: “you could do something new and healing”

but all you know is the old comfortable way where not changing fits just fine.

The conditioned-by-society retaliation response is a lot, lot, less challenging.

New, evolved tool such as loving your fellow human?

Makes you just want to hit someone with a suggestion like that.

Retaliation’s the hell-on-Earth warhead that society markets with enough social proof

that Google would have to take notice.

But before I get all philosophical and helpful…

What The Hell Just Happened?

[I’ll use a woman being triggered, but these events are equal opportunity.]

Lisa was minding her business she was handed at birth, aka her life.

All was well.

It was a normal day.

She was looking forward to the weekend’s societally appointed minor-holiday, Fourth of July,

with you, at the family picnic.

Back at your office, you found out that your guy friends scored an extra ticket

to your favorite band of all time—the one you’ve loved since high school—and, unbelievable,

but Bryan has access to a private jet to get there.

You are so in.

You can’t believe your luck.

You dash off a quick text to your girl and let her know the exciting news.

A few minutes later…you get her response…and you’re thinking waterboarding would hurt less.

Lisa got your text and instead of resonating with your feelings of joy,

her survive-at-all costs conditioning from society kicks in with quantum light speed annihilation

that you, sir, are a cad.

It does not matter, right then and there, that you were her dream guy two seconds ago.

That was then.

Listen to Tolle, be present now and right now

is not good Mister-who-wants-to-go-see-his-stupid band.

The Retaliation Laws RULE.

You will receive a scathing email because you have disappointed her conditioning.

Not her…she loves you, it’s just that right now,

Retaliation rays from them out there conditioning are burning you up.

The email conveys in no uncertain terms that you PROMISED you’d be at the family picnic.

Followed by DON’T YOU LOVE YOUR FAMILY.

Followed by YOU DON’T LOVE ME.

Followed by IF YOU GO TO THAT CONCERT, THEN…

You feel:

Misunderstood,

Accused of lacking values,

Guilt tripped

Threatened

Now, if you’ve never seen the Declaration of Retaliation Law

hanging in The Societal Museum of Control, it clearly states that man or woman,

under this societal duress may invoke Commandment #1:

Rally friends to see if they agree that the other person is not only wrong,

but possibly the incarnation of Dick Dastardly himself, without cute Mutley.

For you, you got away with only a label of cad;

be grateful that Dr. Phil hasn’t heard about your wrong doings.

In a follow-up digital communication you will hear that EVERYONE (that is to be taken as the world, but a Facebook status update will suffice as sufficient evidence) agrees with Lisa.

True, you did not get to speak at your own trial

because the Retaliation Law does not provide for that.

At this point there’s typically 3 ways to proceed:

1. Talk It Out – Maybe To Death

Both of you get into really heated angry, dialogue, duking it out with verbal one-upmanship

until you can’t quite remember what you’re talking about, then exhausted,

sleep, and go at it again in the morning.

Eventually the family picnic and band eruption will cool,

feathers will un-ruffle and back to normal life.

Until the next trigger episode.

2. Society’s Method… It’s Your Way or the Highway

With this one, each of you get revved up on righteous indignation and go for the jugular.

Put your focus on dramatic displays (huffing, puffing, slamming doors, cold shoulders, glaring, etc.) requiring psychic interpretation for the 

You-Mate-Had-Better-Figure-Out-Why-I’m-So-Mad Spectrum.

For Lisa: Keep up the blame and the thought that he doesn’t love you in your head.

Dwell on the cruelty of his attack, throw in a dose of he must be a liar,

and obsess on different ways to punish the cad now and forever until the rage

brewing inside subsides because he came to you begging for mercy

in a repentant apologetic and groveling state.

For The Cad: Reread the above paragraph and change the pronouns. Do the exact same thing.

3. Take the High Road (with all of that forgiveness and love and spiritual stuff)

Since you both are mirroring each other’s mindset, energy,

and have been subject to the same old crappy societal conditioning, try this:

Realize you both saw “harsh” words from the other—interpreted by your mind.

This led to intense upset in each of you instantaneously.

This led to wanting to inflict enough hurt to cause them to writhe in more pain than you.

Why a need to inflict the pain?

Weird, but humanly true: To punish them into loving you again,

because you think they aren’t loving you right now.

This is the only time we care about an Eckhart “now”—when we want to feel loved by them

this second because otherwise we feel we can’t carry on.

Next, realize that punishing someone into loving you

probably did not make Mother Theresa’s Top 10,000 Ways to Love Another.

Know, that the other person feels the exact same way as you

—and you are not more entitled to feeling upset over the other.

You are not the King/Queen of Entitlement.

And last, if we are here on this Earth and we want love, what if we understood that the other person is just like us, and wants our love, our understanding, our compassion

and retaliation only serves to shut down love in us and them…maybe for days or months.

Can we find enough courage to not stay trapped inside with the retaliation terrorist

in our conditioned mind and instead go with the SWAT team out the window

and drop to the safety of love for us and compassion for them?

Hon, that’s so great you can go see the band. I feel excited with you.

I felt bummed out at first, but then I focused on the opportunity for you

and that has nothing to do with your feelings of love for me.

Ahh, the power of love.

AUTHOR BIO

Christine Rich Hanson is a certified relationship and family coach. 

She’s gently, but boldly, helping women find love, 

or, feel loved inside the most painful I-don’t-know-what-to-do-anymore situations.

Find her at: www.ChristineRichHanson.com and download

the free Cheat Sheet for Dealing with Men.

http://www.adaringadventure.com/guest-posts/does-waterboarding-get-you-more-love/

Introduction to Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

A practical overview of Turbo Charged Reading YouTube 

How to choose a book. A Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Emotions when Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Advanced Reading Skills Perhaps you’d like to join my FaceBook group ?

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Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blog:

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www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com         just for fun.

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”

The Five Phrases That Can Change Your Life:

Which direction will you take.

Adam Braun is the Founder and CEO of Pencils of Promise, a nonprofit organization
that has broken ground on more than 80 schools around the world
and delivered over 3 million educational hours in its first four years.
PoP was founded with just $25 in October 2008 using what Braun describes
as a "for-purpose" approach to blending nonprofit idealism with for-profit business principles.
Braun's passion for international education was ignited when he traveled to over fifty
countries in his early twenties. He graduated magna cum laude from Brown University,
previously worked at Bain & Company, and was recently named to Wired's Smart List:
50 People Who Will Change the World.
This speech was given at TEDxColumbiaCollege in November of 2012, 

on the campus of Columbia University in the City of New York.

Introduction to Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

A practical overview of Turbo Charged Reading YouTube 

How to choose a book. A Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Emotions when Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Advanced Reading Skills Perhaps you’d like to join my FaceBook group ?

www.facebook.com/mreenhunt

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Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blog:

www.innermindworking.blogspot.com         gives many ways for you to work with the stresses of life

www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com    for extra TCR information

www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com         just for fun.

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”

Leadership Qualities: Excellence means Discipline, Desire, Dedication, Determination

Carefully and naturally build your future.

Leadership Qualities: Excellence

We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. – Aristotle

    I've mentioned before the impact of my martial arts instructor in the realm of leadership,

and in excellence, there remains a resounding imprint of what I learned through him and in training. Excellence is made up of four segments, that is, there are essentially four qualities

that in cohesion, produce excellence. These are known as the "Four D's of Excellence":
           1. Discipline
           2. Desire
           3. Dedication
           4. Determination
I will spend a few moments on each point to clarify what it is that takes to produce excellence,

then relate that to how it makes one into a better leader.

Discipline

Discipline is the first step to attaining excellence in anything. This is one of the hardest parts,

as self-discipline and focus are often the hardest concepts for many to grasp.

Discipline requires a keen sense of self-awareness, judgement, and follow-through.

It is being hard on yourself, because you know you can do better.

It is the willful change in direction from current habits and routines to creating new,

and better habits. Discipline is the "How" in achieving excellence.

It is the moment by moment force of will you create when establishing a new goal or focus.

Desire

Mankind is interesting in the fact that he has the unique trait of do whatever it takes

to get what he really wants. We will spend countless hours in line for a new tech product,

or work a menial job to pay down debt, or even spend hours in front of tv...

We chase and pursue what we want, so the second element to excellence is desire.

You have to want to excel, to succeed. You have to find a passion, a motivator

to what you are doing. Desire is the "Why" in achieving excellence. What is it that drives you?

Why do you want to succeed in this particular field or project.

I'll take a break a make a point here too: if money, or that next promotion is the sole focus 

of desire or passion, excellence won't last. What happens when you finally get that promotion? Or that raise? Or you finally shed those extra pounds? 

Desire has to be rooted in something more concrete.

Dig deep for some strong convictions and roots as to why you want to excel,

there is where you find your desire.

Dedication

If Discipline is the "How", and Desire the "Why", then Dedication is the "When" 

of achieving excellence. Dedication is the anchor that holds us to our goals. 

When do we commit to excellence? Dedication says through it all. Thick or thin. 

It is knowing that even though I don't feel like waking up at 4:30 to work out, I do it anyway.

Or that even though this is a slow week at work, it's not the time to become lax or lazy,

but time to really push through with my dedication to excellence. Rough times or easy times, excellence necessitates a commitment. It needs dedication. It doesn't just happen.

Determination

Finally, Determination gives us the "To What Extent" of achieving excellence.

Am I willing to overcome any obstacles, distance or hardships that are thrown my way? Determination says, "Bring it on." A determined person is that person who stares down adversity

in the face and laughs. Excellence is achieved by weathering any obstacle or problem with vigor.

      So how does all this relate to being a good leader? By nature of the word itself,

excellence is seeking the absolute best. A good leader, better yet, an excellent leader

applies the "Four D's" to every part of his life. Whether work, play, home or school,

a good leader leads in excellence. He or she drives his team to pursue excellence

by setting a pace and expectation of excellence. A good leader coaches and drives his team

or employees to chase after excellence. Let's face it, excellence doesn't come naturally,

it requires hard work. It's something we all shoot for.

In closing, I point back to the quote at the beginning: "Excellence is not an act, but a habit."

It is a lifestyle. It is holistic. It is a pursuit that pushes us to do our very best,

and in turn inspiring others to do their very best. Creating a habit of excellence is not easy,

but it is worth it every moment of hard work. Discipline, Desire, Dedication, and Determination. These are the four D's of excellence. 

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/leadership-qualities-excellence-ron-phillips-jr-

Introduction to Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

A practical overview of Turbo Charged Reading YouTube 

How to choose a book. A Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Emotions when Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Advanced Reading Skills Perhaps you’d like to join my FaceBook group ?

www.facebook.com/mreenhunt

www.pinterest.com/mreenhunt

Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blog:

www.innermindworking.blogspot.com         gives many ways for you to work with the stresses of life

www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com    for extra TCR information

www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com         just for fun.

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”

You Need Stronger Shoulders, Not Lighter Burdens

Take note of the Restrictions Lifted sign.

You Need Stronger Shoulders, Not Lighter Burdens

Don’t pray for lighter burdens, pray for stronger shoulders to carry them.

Don’t pray for a path without rocks or obstacles,

pray for stronger ankles to cope with the inevitable twists and turns.

Don’t pray for more opportunities,

pray for better eyesight to see the opportunities that are already there.

Don’t pray for a life without fear, pray for a heart with the courage to stand up to anything.

Don’t pray for your critics to become silent, pray for thicker skin to withstand their barbs.

Don’t pray for less complicated problems,

pray for a sharper mind and more skilled hands to develop great solutions.

Don’t pray for a smooth downhill run, pray for strength in your legs to carry you to the summit.

Don’t seek better circumstances, seek to become a better version of yourself.

Because there are bigger things in store for you in the future

and you need to be equipped to deal with them.  

If everything is easy for you now, you won’t be ready.

http://betterlifecoachingblog.com/2015/04/09/you-need-stronger-shoulders-not-lighter-burdens/

Introduction to Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

A practical overview of Turbo Charged Reading YouTube 

How to choose a book. A Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Emotions when Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Advanced Reading Skills Perhaps you’d like to join my FaceBook group ?

www.facebook.com/mreenhunt

www.pinterest.com/mreenhunt

Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blog:

www.innermindworking.blogspot.com         gives many ways for you to work with the stresses of life

www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com    for extra TCR information

www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com         just for fun.

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”

Stop making excuses. Create your own reality:

The white area produces the goods,

but it is rarely seen.

Gary is a relentless entrepreneur and driven philanthropist with a footprint on four continents; broad experience spanning entrepreneurship, M&A, business turnarounds, and Fortune 50 board directorships. Seasoned in structuring the macro-level dynamics of entrepreneurial ecosystems,

Gary has been featured in industry-leading publications such as the Harvard Business Review,

Inc. and the New York Times, and delivered over 50 presentations to audiences around the World

on many topical facets of entrepreneurship.
 

Introduction to Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

A practical overview of Turbo Charged Reading YouTube 

How to choose a book. A Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Emotions when Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Advanced Reading Skills Perhaps you’d like to join my FaceBook group ?

www.facebook.com/mreenhunt

www.pinterest.com/mreenhunt

Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blog:

www.innermindworking.blogspot.com         gives many ways for you to work with the stresses of life

www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com    for extra TCR information

www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com         just for fun.

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”

Women Managers are More Engaged Than Men

Women Managers are More Engaged Than Men

It has to be true, right?

It’s on the internet and they can’t put anything on the internet that’s not true.

Well, at least that's what Gallup reports and they’re pretty reputable.

Gallup has been polling Americans about the workplace for years.

In 1953, they first asked Americans, 

“If you were taking a new job and you had your choice

of a boss, would you prefer to work for a man or a woman?” 

In the 1950’s, you can guess the outcome.

Sixty-six percent (66%) said they preferred a male boss.

Five percent said they preferred a female boss,

and 25% volunteered that it made no difference to them.

Sixty years later, they are still asking the same question.

About 46% say it doesn’t matter but 33% still say they prefer a male boss.

Employee Engagement

Gallup recently released their State of the U.S. Manager report. 

They’ve been reporting on U.S. workplace engagement since 2000

and the findings have been pretty consistent.  

Americans are simply not “engaged” in their jobs in any given year. 

Engaged employees are defined as those who are actively involved in,

enthusiastic about and committed to their work and company.

That’s far from what they see. The majority of employees are indifferent.

The Connection Between Employee Engagement and Managers  

Gallup’s research further shows that managers account for at least 70% of the variance

in employee engagement scores. Most managers don’t create the environment

in which employees feel motivated or even comfortable.

Yet, Gallup discovered that employees who work for a female manager 

are actually more engaged, on average, than those who work for a male manager.

But, it should be noted that only one in three (33%) working Americans

say they currently have a female boss.

Why Does it Matter?

These findings have implications for the workplace.

If female managers, on average, are more engaged than male managers,

what does that mean in terms of their contribution to the organization’s

current and future success.  

When employees leave positions, the reason for departure is frequently cited

as not wanting to work for their manager.

Given that female managers are more engaged than male managers,

their higher engagement levels likely result in higher satisfaction 

and Gallup’s data confirms that.  

Reasons Cited for Female Managers Being More Engaging

They encourage development - Gallup found that employees who work for a female manager

are more likely than employees who work for a male manager to believe

that “there is someone at work who encourages my development.”

Gallup believes “this suggests that female managers likely surpass their male counterparts

in cultivating potential in others and helping to define a bright future for their employees.”

They “check-in” frequently - Female managers are not only more likely than male managers

to encourage their subordinates’ development,

but they’re also more inclined than their male counterparts to check in frequently

on their employees’ progress. This suggests that female managers,

more so than male managers, tend to provide regular feedback

to help their employees achieve their development goals.

They praise - Employees who work for a female manager are more likely

than those with a male manager to provide positive feedback

that helps employees feel valued for their everyday contributions.

Gallup also believes that it indicates that female managers may be better than male managers

at helping their employees harness the power of positive reinforcement.

What Do You Think?

I’m female so when I see positive feedback about women in leadership, it makes me happy.

Frankly, I’ve not noticed any difference throughout my career.

However, it is very noteworthy and organizations should review the findings carefully.

If your female managers are vastly outnumbered by your male managers,

I’d recommend you look at how to develop and promote more women.

Aside from that, the crux of the matter is engagement.

The study continually shows that employees are disengaged 

and managers are disengaged with their staff.  

That has serious repercussions for the workforce.

The reasons why should be studied thoroughly so that positive strides can be made in this area.

 https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-women-better-managers-than-men-jan-johnston-osburn

Introduction to Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

A practical overview of Turbo Charged Reading YouTube 

How to choose a book. A Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Emotions when Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Advanced Reading Skills Perhaps you’d like to join my FaceBook group ?

www.facebook.com/mreenhunt

www.pinterest.com/mreenhunt

Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blog:

www.innermindworking.blogspot.com         gives many ways for you to work with the stresses of life

www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com    for extra TCR information

www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com         just for fun.

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”