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How to Make Dinner Conversation
Deeper and More Meaningful
Living in the age of smart phones, smart watches and
super connected devices has its perks.
We can follow conversations from all around the world,
connect with likeminded people
we would have never met locally, and get access to
endless amounts of information.
But sometimes all this technology can come at a cost.
Dings, beeps, pings and notifications
are incredibly distracting. And if we aren’t careful all
this tech can hijack our attention
which makes being present and enjoying someone’s physical
company incredibly difficult.
Our busy lives also mean that many of us shy away from
cooking.
Between our never-ending to-do lists, demanding jobs,
children’s busy schedules,
and perhaps less-than-stellar skills in the kitchen,
making and eating meals together
seems to slide down on our list of priorities.
That’s unfortunate, considering the numerous benefits of
making a meal
or even sitting down together to eat.
Amidst today’s go-faster, do-more mentality, I have a
radical proposal.
I want you not only to reconnect with your kitchen and
the bounty of benefits it offers;
I also want you to reconnect with each other: Sit
down and have a meal together.
If you have a family, you can bring everyone together for
this event.
If you live alone, invite friends over. Humans crave
togetherness and connecting,
and preparing a meal and then enjoying stimulating
conversation
becomes an energizing situation that plies us away from
our laptops, smart phones,
and other technological gadgets that serve a purpose but
also disconnect us from other people.
It is not just that we are bombarded by toxic news and
endless gossip.
We also live in a toxic food environment, with its slick
combination of sugar, salt,
and fat that’s pumped into a wide range of packaged food.
As a result, our genes (and our jeans) are overwhelmed.
Our taste buds have been assaulted.
Our tongues and our brains become victim to craving even
more of these toxins.
Diabesity and
all its repercussions have become the price we pay for this toxic-food
onslaught.
Slowing down and enjoying healthy food, surrounded by
great conversation,
becomes one of the most radical things you can do to
fight this toxic food environment.
If you have kids, you are establishing lasting habits
they will carry on.
That becomes especially critical when you consider in
less than a decade,
the rate of pre-diabetes or diabetes in teenagers has
risen from 9 percent to 23 percent.
Almost one in four kids has pre-diabetes or type
2 diabetes.
Even more shocking, 37 percent of kids at a normal weight have
pre-diabetes
and one or more cardiovascular risk factors such as high
blood pressure, high cholesterol,
or high blood sugar. Besides raising the risk for
chronic, life-threatening diseases,
the sad truth is that obese children will earn less,
suffer more, and die younger.
You can reverse this massive problem for yourself and for
future generations,
and the cure lies in your kitchen. Cooking together and
having friendly conversation
needn’t become time consuming or otherwise burdensome.
Start with one night a week.
Make it mandatory, require everyone to put away
technological gadgets,
and make dining together an event.
Cooking real food is a revolutionary act. Sitting down
and having stimulating conversation
has become a lost art. Our children will grow up without
these survival tactics,
and their children will face the same fate—not being able
to identify common fruits and vegetables, not realizing where food comes from,
and feeling isolated rather than connected with others.
We can change that, one meal at a time.
5 Steps to Disconnect
and Reengage
Whether you’re preparing food together or passing it
around the family table,
it’s a wonderful time to reconnect, get the day’s
download, share laughs,
and discuss important events.
Start your new ritual by making your kitchen as warm and
inviting as possible.
I’ve found these five strategies can help your family
gather around the dinner table for a fun, convivial meal:
Reclaim your kitchen. Throw away any foods
with high fructose corn syrup,
hydrogenated fats, sugar, or fat listed as the first or
second ingredient on the label.
Fill your shelves with real, fresh, whole, local foods
when possible.
And join a community support agriculture network to get
a cheaper supply of fresh vegetables weekly or frequent
farmers markets.
Learn how to shop and cook. You can make this a family
activity,
and it does not need to take a ton of time. Keep meals
quick and simple.
Make your kitchen inviting. Create a family playlist
that puts everyone in a good mood.
Invest in terrific lighting. Change your curtains. Open
your windows. Put stools by the counter,
or pillows on your chairs. Make the kitchen a place you
and your family want to gather.
Reinstate the family dinner. Read Laurie David’s The Family Dinner.
She suggests the following guidelines: Make a set
dinnertime, no phones or texting during dinner, everyone eats the same meal, no
television, only filtered or tap water,
invite friends and family, everyone clean up together.
Eat together. No
matter how modest the meal, create a special place to sit down together,
and set the table with care and respect. Savor the ritual
of the table.
Mealtime is a time for empathy and generosity, a time to
nourish and communicate.
Don’t Let Perfection Derail Your Efforts
Once you set up your environment for success, let the fun
begin!
I recommend getting your family involved in the entire
process,
from prepping ingredients to cooking to sitting down and
enjoying the results of your labor.
If you’re new to cooking or your skills have gotten
rusty, don’t aim for perfection
with your first recipe—aim for experimenting and
practicing. Start with one of my more basic recipes with a few ingredients
and work your way up to something more complex.
Enlist help from
family members—drag your kids away from their video games
and ask them to measure ingredients, pull food from the
fridge,
or even chop veggies if they’re ready to take on this
task.
Decide on meals together to get everyone excited about
what’s in store.
I encourage you to start your own family traditions
around cooking and enjoying meals together. One of my favorite things to do
with my kids is to hang out in the kitchen, chopping vegetables, telling
stories, catching up, cooking, and anticipating sharing a great meal together.
Once you get in the habit of nourishing your family life
in this way,
you’ll never want to return to solo dining out of plastic
containers and take-out boxes.
Choosing Inspired Conversation
“But I have no clue what to talk about with my kids or
partner,” a patient will occasionally confess when I propose the
dinner-conversation idea.
We know more about the latest celebrity gossip than we do
our own family and friends.
Life coach, Lauren Zander, (Co-founder of The Handel
Group and Creator of The Handel Method™)
has a fantastic mealtime tradition to change that. She calls it “Creating a
Conversation.”
Here’s how it goes. At the start of the meal, your family
or dinner guests suggest a potential question to be answered by each person at
the table. Everyone must agree on the question.
Once a question is decided upon, everyone at the table must answer
the question.
The fun is in getting everyone to share about themselves
and connect with each other.
That’s when the magic happens!
You will start to get to know your family and friends on
a deeper level.
To help you get started, here’s a list of some of our
favorite dinner conversations:
What’s your favorite thing about the person sitting to
your right? Why?
What’s something you can confess that nobody at the table
knows about you?
If you could pick any career in the world, regardless of
ability/age, what would it be? Why?
What’s a city, town, or country you’ve never seen that
you’d like to visit?
What draws you to this destination?
What’s your very first memory of life?
Tell the story of your first true love. Who was it? How
old were you? What happened?
Do you know anything about where that person is right
now?
If the house were on fire, and you could save just one of
your possessions, what would it be? Why?
If you could change one thing about yourself what would
it be and why?
What’s the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to
you and what did you learn from it?
If you could give the person to your left a superpower,
what would it be? Why?
What’s something you have seen, heard, experienced this
week that touched you?
Tell a story of someone you deeply loved. Let us
know what made that person special.
What do you love most about your life? Why?
Diving Deeper into Dinner Discussions
Are you ready for a deeper, yearlong,
working-on-your-life dinner experience?
Life Coach Lauren Zander has another mealtime project,
one that includes
bringing your family/community together to inspire and
make a difference in each other’s lives.
Here’s how to play. Keep in mind it’s a yearlong event.
You have a kickoff dinner
where each guest chooses an area of life from the list
below and creates a dream in that area.
They must dream big while also making the dream inspiring
and doable.
Once everyone has expressed their dream, each person at
the table must make
at least two promises that will help them achieve that
dream.
Then they choose someone at the table to be their
accountability partner
who will help them keep those promises.
Every six to eight weeks, schedule a dinner with the same
guests so you can meet up,
have a great meal, and everyone can give updates on how
they are doing with their dreams.
You will be amazed at the changes a community can create
for each other.
In which area do you choose to dream big?
Career –
how is it going? Are you doing what you love?
Body –
weight, appearance, how you look
Money –
are you happy with what you’ve earned, saved, or how you manage it?
Fun & Adventure —
vacations, self-indulgent time, out-of-the-ordinary events
Learning —is
there something you want to learn that interests you?
Such as how to fly a plane, play the guitar, or speak
Spanish?
I would love to hear from you about your favorite dinner
conversation
or the dreams you are achieving.
If you want more help turning your dreams into reality,
then please visit Coach Lauren’s website to learn more about how she and her team
can help you to dream big!
Wishing you health and happiness,
Mark Hyman, MD.
Mark Hyman, MD.
http://drhyman.com/blog/2015/05/29/how-to-make-dinner-conversation-deeper-and-more-meaningful/#openModal
Introduction to Turbo Charged Reading YouTube
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Advanced Reading Skills Perhaps you’d like to join my FaceBook group ?
Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blog:
www.innermindworking.blogspot.com gives many ways for you to work with the stresses of life
www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com for extra TCR information
www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com just for fun.
To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.
The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”
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