Snowdrops in Skipton. UK
The Secret to
Being Happy at Work and Home
Keith Rosen
Stressing over
results is ruining your life. Do this instead.
A Flawed Model for Success and Happiness
“Once I make my quota, hit my number, close that sale,
get that promotion, help that customer, have more money,
solve that problem,
THEN I’ll be really happy, satisfied and will finally
feel successful!”
Here’s a teaspoon
of reality for you. For how long?
Imagine, for a moment, it’s the end of the quarter. You
hit your sales quota.
Congratulations! High-five! Let’s celebrate!
And then what happens?
The counter resets back to zero. It’s time to begin
another quarter and do it all over again!
This is a flawed model of thinking, since you’re allowing
external situations and outcomes
to dictate your internal condition, happiness, confidence
and peace of mind.
The
solution?
Shift your thinking from focusing on what’s next to
what’s NOW.
Besides, what’s the real secret of life? Enjoying the
passage of time.
Hafez, a Persian poet, said it best, “I am happy before I
have a reason.”
Be realistic here. Your goals aren’t going anywhere!
They’re set.
So, why do you feel the need to continually obsess over
the results,
let it dominate every conversation and annoy your direct
reports about their goals?
Because there is some limiting and toxic belief people
harbor deep inside that tells us,
“Focus on the results and the results will happen
faster.” Yeah, right.
Why obsess over the results when it’s going to be what
you do in the moment
and how you do it that will ultimately produce your
desired outcome!
Take the
Result-Driven Challenge
Would it make you feel better if we validated this right
now?
Let’s test out this theory that plagues managers all over
the world.
Okay, here’s what you’ll need to do. Think about your
goals, commitments, business objectives
or sales targets. Can you envision them? Are they clear
in your mind? Okay.
Now, for the next thirty seconds, that’s all I want you
to think about.
Imagine all of your goals in your mind’s eye and focus on
nothing else. Ready? Go!
(Thirty seconds later.)
So, what happened? Did the result manifest any faster?
Are you now any closer to achieving your goals?
I don’t think so. My point is, focusing on the result
contributes nothing towards
achieving that very result you seek. Paradoxically, focusing
on the result
becomes the very detriment to achieving your goals, since
you are no longer focused
on the process, the how, the quality of output and
ultimately – your people.
Of course, it is absolutely essential to plan for your
future, set goals and have a clear vision
for yourself, your team and for your organization.
However, this needs to be balanced
with being in the moment and choosing to live; and act
with purpose.
Engagement Starts
at Home
If you are a leader, it doesn’t stop or start at work or
at home. It’s who you are.
That’s probably why I’m so overly conscientious
about
what I’m modeling for my children every day.
As the proud father of three honor roll students, the
topic of homework, what they learn at school and its relevance to the “real
world” has a tendency to surface every once in a while.
“Dad, explain to me how this homework is even relevant to
what I’ll be doing in the future when
I get a job or start my own business? I mean, when will I
ever need to use this in the real world?”
My response is simply this. “If it’s part of your
curriculum and what you need to do and learn
to get the grades you want and make you a more
well-rounded, educated person,
then it doesn’t matter what you’re doing. It doesn’t
matter how seemingly insignificant it is
or how many times you’ve done that task. Regardless of
what it is, if you are going to put forth
your personal effort, then focus 100% of your energy and
effort on what you’re doing
in that moment because what you’re doing in the moment is
the most important thing at that time.
Whether it’s a task, project, hobby, sport, practice,
homework or even a conversation,
put your head into it and more important, put your heart
into it.
Whatever it is you are doing at that moment,
do it the very best you can because what you do is a
reflection of you and who you are.”
Refocus Now!
Everything Counts
The habits and choices you made yesterday
are what
created the life and career you have today.
So, here’s the real opportunity.
The habits and choices you make today will create the
life and career you will have tomorrow.
Think about the things that consume your day. Emails,
phone calls, travel, customer meetings, reports, presentations, training,
coaching, working with customers, business development,
internal meetings, up-selling, handling challenges and
problems, admin work, project management, team meetings, cross-selling,
forecast reviews, deal reviews, performance reviews,
getting to decision makers, weekly reporting, asking for
referrals,
your own professional development; I can go on and on.
Here’s the point. Are we embracing the same philosophy we
tell your children?
What about the message you deliver to your team? Are you
modeling this yourself?
“If you are going to put forth your personal effort, then
focus 100% of your energy and effort
on what you’re doing in that moment. Put your head into
it and more important,
put your heart into it. Whatever it is you’re doing at
that moment,
do it the very best you can because what you do is a
reflection of you and who you are.”
Miracles Happen
When You Pay Attention
It’s so easy to go through the motions without the
e-motion. To treat exceptional results
as just another day at the office. To ignore the
seemingly insignificant miracles that happen
amongst your team and with your customers. The remarkable
things you do
and what your people do every day. How they have changed,
improved or grown.
Do you even recognize when these things occur? And if you
do, are you acknowledging them?
There is a greater cost incurred when having both eyes
focused on the result.
If you continually focus on and live in the future, at
some point, you are going to turn around
and realize your life has passed you by. Life is what
happens in the now, in the present moment.
And if this isn’t enough to ignite the fire of change,
then ask yourself,
“What am I modeling for the people around me, at work, at
home, for my children?”
Re-Engage
Ultimately, whatever you’re doing in the moment,
regardless of what it is;
it is the most important thing you are doing at that
time.
Aside from the result, let the activity and how engaged
you are in the activity be the reward
so that you can authentically enjoy the process and not
just the fleeting win.
As a leader, if you can model this, think about the
message you are sending to the rest of your team and the impact it will have on
each person as well as on the culture you want to create.
Imagine an overall deeper, more authentic level of
engagement with your team, your customers
and ultimately, the impact on your performance and the
value you deliver.
Respect the dualities of life; two conflicting truths
that co-exist simultaneously.
That is, be mindful of the future, while being engaged in
the moment.
Simply put, be where you stand.
http://keithrosen.com/2014/11/the-secret-to-being-happy-at-work-and-home/
You
can TCR software and
engineering manuals for spontaneous recall
– or pass that exam.
I
can Turbo
Charge Read a
novel 6-7 times faster and remember what I’ve read.
I
can TCR an
instructional/academic book around 20 times faster and remember
what I’ve read.
Perhaps
you’d like to check out my sister blogs:
All
aspects of regular, each-word down-each-line reading and education.
Turbo
Charged Reading uses these skills significantly faster.
www.innermindworking.blogspot.com many
ways for you to work with the stresses of life
www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com just for fun.
To quote the
Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.
The more
that you learn; the more places you'll go.”
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