Wednesday, 29 April 2015

Best Advice: Be Careful Who You Trust

Carefully constructed balance.

Best Advice: Be Careful Who You Trust

Trust is a very important aspect for healthy personal and professional relationships.
When trust exists in a relationship, you feel comfortable expressing yourself because
you recognize that what you share will be secure.
On the other hand, lack of trust creates misunderstandings, arguments and frustration,
which can harm your relationship and lead to stress and anxiety.
Per Steve Convey, trust is the glue of life. 
It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. 
It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships. 

Some of the things that can damage a relationship are lies, being misleading, 
breaking promises, revealing shared information,
failing to apologize and offering an explanation, and resourcing to excuses.
No one is exempt from falling into any of these things,
it is hard - not impossible - to maintain trust in a relationship.
When there is a will, there is a way. The difference resides in taking responsibility 
for your actions by being a courageous person, not a coward. 

It does take courage to admit that you failed at something
and as a result the trust in your relationship was negatively affected.
Fear of confrontation paralyses some people,
so they decide to not do anything and let the relationship die.
Other people are prompt to make amends to save the relationship
while other people wait for the hurt person to reach out to them.

As Adam Grant describes in his book "Give and Take," there are givers, takers and matchers.
When you give too much in a relationship, you may be taken for granted
and not be valued anymore. Other people may be in a relationship with you for selfish motives
- to take something they need and want from you
- while others go hand in hand with you reciprocating. 
Note that this is not necessarily the case in every personal and professional relationship.
It is tremendously necessary that you are aware of who you trust.
Let your wisdom be your guide.
This has nothing to do with being paranoid about the people
who you already trust in your life nor the people who you are in the process of trusting.  

It is spring time and what a good season to take an inventory of your life,
particularly of the people who have been there for you no matter what,
and also of those who you may need to re-evaluate your relationship with.
Give priority to the relationships that bring meaning to your life
and think about whether or not you need to keep those relationships
that do not add any value to it. It is never too early or too late to be courageous
and be grateful for the people who make a positive impact in your life
and let go of those who keep on taking from you and draining you.
Always be careful you who trust, be wise. #BestAdvice

I compiled these quotes for you about trusting yourself and trusting people. 

1. "As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
2. "You must trust yourself more than you trust others. Pay attention to your inner voice
    - it will tell you if how and in what you are investing is right for you." Suze Orman
3. "Self-trust is the first secret of success." Ralph Waldo Emerson
4. "Trust, but verify." Ronald Reagan
5. "A healthy relationship is built on unwavering trust." Beau Mirchoff
6. "Trust has to be earned, and should come only after the passage of time." Arthur Ashe
7. Relationships survive on trust, and if that is broken at any point,
    it's pretty much the end of the relationship.
   Besides, inability to communicate leads to problems. Yuvraj Singh
8. “When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective.” 
    Stephen R. Covey
9. "The glue that holds all relationships together--including the relationship between
     the leader and the led--is trust, and trust is based on integrity." Brian Tracy
10. "Trust is not simply a matter of truthfulness, or even constancy.
      It is also a matter of amity and goodwill. We trust those who have our best interests at heart,
      and mistrust those who seem deaf to our concerns." Gary Hamel 
11. "If people like you, they'll listen to you, but if they trust you,
       they'll do business with you." Zig Ziglar
12. "Trust is built when someone is vulnerable and not taken advantage of." Bob Vanourek
13. "Authenticity is the alignment of head, mouth, heart, and feet - thinking, saying, feeling,
        and doing the same thing - consistently.
       This builds trust, and followers love leaders they can trust." Lance Secretan 
14. "Trust becomes solidified when words consistently back up by deeds." George David Miller
15. "A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend,
       one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us,
       and who loves us in spite of all our faults." Charles Kingsley
16. "Trust in God alone, and lean not on the needs of human help.
     Be not surprised when friends fail you; it is a failing world.
      Never reckon upon immutability in man:
      inconstancy you may reckon upon without fear of disappointment." Charles Spurgeon
17. "Without communication there is no relationship. Without respect there is no love.
      Without trust there is no reason to continue." Unknown
18. "There are indeed times when one should trust blindly,
      just as there are times when one should not.
      Wisdom consists in being able to tell one from the other." Daniel Quinn
19. "Logically, harmony must come from the heart... Harmony very much based on trust.
      As soon as use force, creates fear. Fear and trust cannot go together." Dalai Lama
20. "Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted
      with important matters." Albert Einstein
21. "When you completely trust another person, you will end up with one of two outcomes.
      A friend for life or a lesson for life. Both, regardless of the outcome are valuable." Unknown
22. "Not everyone can be trusted.
       I think we all have to be very selective about the people we trust." Shelley Long
23. "Never trust anyone who wants what you've got.
       Friend or no, envy is an overwhelming emotion." Eubie Blake
24. "Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties." Aesop 
25. "Don’t trust people whose feelings change with time.
      Trust people whose feelings remain the same, even when the time changes" 
       Ziad K. Abdelnour

What have been some of the most meaningful moments in your life 
as a result of trusting people?


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