GONNA BE A BEAR
In this lifetime I’m a woman.
In my next life I’d like to come back as a bear.
When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate.
You do nothing but sleep for six months.
I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate,
you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid.
I could deal with that too.
When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children
(who are the size of walnuts)
while you’re sleeping and wake up to partially grown
cute, cuddly cubs.
I could definitely deal with that.
If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.
I could deal with that.
If you’re a bear,
your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.
He EXPEXTS that you have hairy legs
and excess body fat.
Yup, gonna be a bear !
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